哪里有英语笑话(100字)带有中文翻译的？
哪里有英语笑话(100字)带有中文翻译的？
08-11-03 &
网站里面还有更多。 A Girl Just Like Mother No matter which girl he brought home， the young man found disapproval from his mother． A friend gave him advice． “Find a girl just like your mother—then she's bound to like her． So the young man searched and searched， and finally found the girl．He told his friendly adviser： “Just like you said， I found a girl who looked，talked，dressed， and even cooked like mother．And just as you said，mother liked her” “So，”asked the friend，“what happened？” “Nothing，”said the young man．“My father hates her！” 37．和母亲一样的女孩 无论带哪一个女孩回家，这位青年人总会遭到母亲的反对。一位朋友劝他说： “找一个和你母亲一样的女孩——那她一定会喜欢她。” 于是这位青年人不停地找啊找，终于找到了这么个女孩。 他对他友好的忠告者说： “正像你说的那样，我找到一个长相、谈吐、穿着打扮，甚至连烹饪都和我母亲一样的女孩。也正像你说的那样，我母亲喜欢她。” “那后来呢？”朋友问。 “没什么，”青年人说。“我父亲讨厌她！” What Is a Traitor？ Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics？” Father（a veteran politician）：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one．” Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours？” Father：“A convert，my son．” 36．什么叫叛徒？ 有希望的青年人：“父亲，什么叫政治叛徒？” 父亲（一位老资格的政治家）：“叛徒指的是离开我们党而加入到另一个党的人。” 有希望的青年人：“那么，离开他的党而加入到我们党的人又叫什么呢？” 父亲：“叫改变信仰者。我的儿子。” Stray Thoughts Of an Idler He who sleeps catches no fish，—but he who keeps awake catches crabs every moment of his life． All professions can yield a man enough to live on，—except professions of faith． When attending the performance of some modern operas，it has struck me that the conductor was only beating time because he could not beat the composer． If in the sight of the law all men are equal， Heaven save us from getting into its sight． When you want to get rid of a dog， you take off his collar；—when the king wants to get rid of a minister， he give shim the collar—of the Order of the Annunziata． The place where they ruin people's voices， and throw aside all the canons of art，is called the Conservatoire；and a hospital full of sick peopk is called a“house of health”（Casadi Salute）． Among the many motives which induce me to stay away from the theatre is the utter absence of all motive in modernoperas． How many old phrases are required to make a new electoral programme！ All musical notes may express cheerful ideas； it is only thenotes of creditors which arouse none but melancholy reflections． I entered the shop of a pork butcher at the moment when his son， aged eight， was returning from school． The poor boy was weeping bitterly． “The old story！”exclaimed his parent ；“I suppose you did not learn your lessons， and the master called you an ass， as you deserved！” “Yes！” replied the child， sobbing，“he did call me an ass，—and then—” “Well，—and then —what else？” “He said，‘well， after all， it is no wonder—like father，like son！’” “Did he，indeed？the animal！”exclaimed the porkbutcher．“And to think that perhaps he has not yet eaten the whole of those two sausages I sent him at Christmas！” 39．闲人遐思 “眠者不得鱼”——但醒者一生时时刻刻捕到的却是螃蟹。 各种职业都可赖以为生——除了信仰的宣言。 观看某些现代歌剧演出时，我忽然悟到，指挥之所以仅仅只是打拍子，是因为他打不着作曲者。 上天保佑我们别进入法律的视界，即使在法律看来人人平等。 你不想要某条狗了，就取下它的领圈——当国王想摆脱某大臣，就给他戴上领饰——圣母玛丽亚荣誉骑士团的领饰①。 毁坏人们的噪音并抛弃一切艺术法规的地方叫作音乐学校（Conservatoire）；住满病人的医院则被称为“健康之屋”（Casa di Salute）。 种种动机促使我躲开剧院，其中之一就是因为现代歌剧完全没有主题②。 得用多少老词儿，才能编一套新的选举纲领！ 所有的音符都能表达欢乐的思想；唯独债权人的信函③唤起的全是忧愁的念头。 我走进杀猪屠夫的铺子，他八岁的儿子正好放学回家。 那可怜的孩子哭得好伤心。 “准又是老事重演！”他父亲吼道，“我想一定是你没记住功课，老师骂你是蠢驴来着，你也就配挨骂！” “不错，”孩子回答，一边抽泣着，“他确实叫我蠢驴来着，—然后—” “然后——还有什么？” “他说，‘说来倒也不奇怪——有其父必有其子。’” “他真这么说了？那个畜生！”杀猪的大喊，“而且想想看，我过圣诞送他的整整两大根肉肠只怕还并没吃完呢！” A Useful Lesson In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar． Mr． Thompson used to go to a bar near his house quite often，but he never took his son，Tom，because he was too young． Then when Tom had his eighteenth birthday， Mr．Thompson took him to his usual bar for the first time．They drank for half an hour， and then Mr．Thompson said to his son，“Now， Tom，I want to teach you a useful lesson．You must always be careful not to drink too much． And how do you know when you've had enough？ Well， I'll tell you．Do you see those two lights at the end of the bar？ When they seem to have become four，you've had enough and should go home．” “But， Dad，” said Tom，“I can only see one light at the end of the bar．” 40．有益的教训 在英国，十八岁以下的人不准进酒吧喝酒。 汤普森先生以前常常去他家附近的一个酒吧喝酒，但他从来不带他的儿子汤姆去，因为他年纪太小。后来，当汤姆年满十八岁的时候，汤普森先生第一次带他去他常去的那家酒吧。他们喝了半个小时，而后，汤普森先生对他儿子说：“汤姆，现在我要告诉你一个有益的教训。你必须时时小心不要喝得太多。你怎么知道你喝够了呢？好，我来告诉你。你看见酒吧那头有两盏灯吗？当那两盏灯看起来变成四盏的时候，你就喝够了，应该回家了。 “可是，爸爸。”汤姆说：“在酒吧那头我只能看见一盏灯。” The Country Squire In a small pretty village in Notting ham shire there formerly lived a respectable Squire， who excelled all his friends in amusements athletic， and whose manner of living was far from ascetic． A wife he had taken for better or worse， whose temper had proved an intolerant curse；but at length， to his great and unspeakable joy， she died when presenting a fine little boy．Strange fancies men have；—the father designed to watch o’er the dawn of his son's youthful mind，—that，only approached by the masculine gender， no room should be left him for feelings more tender．“Had I ne’er seen a woman，” he often would sigh，“What Squire in the country so happy as I！” The boy was intelligent， active， and bright， and took in his studies uncommon delight；no juvenile follies distracted his mind； no visions of bright eyes， or damsels unkind， and those fair demisisterly beings so gay， yclept“pretty cousins， ne’erpopped in his way； till at length this remarkably singular son could number of years that had passed twenty one．” Now the father had settled， his promising son should his studies conclude when he reached twenty one；and he went，with a heart beating high with emotion， to launch the young man on life's turbulent ocean．As they entered the town，a young maiden tripped by， with a cheek like a rose， and a lightlaughing eye．“O father， what's that？” cried the youth with delight， as this vision of loveliness burst on his sight．“O，that，” cried the cautious and politic Squire， who did not they outh's ardent glances admire，“is only a thing called a Goose，my dear son ；we shall see many more ere our visit is done．” Blooming damsels now passed with their butter and cheese，whose beauty might even an anchorite please：“Merelygeese！” said the Squire，“don't mind them，my dear；thereare many things better worth looking at here．” As onwards they passed， every step brought to view some spectacle equally curious and new；and the joy of the youth hardly knew any bounds， at the roped ancers， tumblers， and merry gorounds． As soon as the tour of the town was completed， the fatherre solved that the boy should be treated； so， pausing an instant，he said，“My dear son， a new era today in your life has begun；now of all this bright scene and the gayeties in it，choose whatever you like，it is yours from this minute．”“Choose whatever I like？” cried the jouthful recluse．“O， thank you，dear father， then give me—a goose！” 38．乡绅 从前，在诺丁汉郡的一个美丽的小村庄里住着一位可敬的绅士。他玩起体育竞技游戏来比所有的朋友都高强，过的日子绝不是苦行僧式的。不管是福是祸，他娶了个妻。结果她脾气奇坏，成了个难以忍受的灾星。终于，她在产下一玲珑佳儿后死去，乡绅先生的万分欣喜自是不可言传。人不时会突发奇想。这位父亲决定亲自督察儿子年幼的头脑的启蒙，务必使他接触的都是男性，绝不留下余地萌生更温柔的感情。“倘我从不曾见过女人，”他常常叹息道，“全国的乡绅里谁人能有我快活！”那男孩聪明、活泼而又通达事理，异常地喜欢学习。从不因小孩子的胡闹而分心；从没有明亮的眸子，或狠心的小妞，或被谓之“妩媚表亲”、半似姐妹的放肆尤物突然出现在他面前。到最后，这位非同寻常、出类拔萃的儿子终于度过了21个年头。 父亲决定，他的前途无量的儿子在21岁时应该结束学业。于是他满心激动地带领年轻人启航进入汹涌的人生之海。当他们进城时，正有一少女款款经过，腮如玫瑰，眼笑流波。“哦，父亲，那是什么？”当那可爱身影闯入他的眼帘时，年轻人快乐地喊道。“噢，那个，”谨慎而讲究谋略的乡绅根本不赞赏儿子热烈的目光，于是大声说，“不过区区一笨鹅而已，我亲爱的孩子，我们一路还会见到很多的。” 携奶油乳酪的如花少女络绎而过，就是隐士也会被她们的美丽打动。“不过是些笨鹅！”乡绅道，“我儿不必放在心上，此间有许多事物更值得一观呢。”他们继续前行，每一步都见到同样新奇有趣的景象，年轻人看到走绳索的，翻斤斗的，和旋转木马等等，其乐也无穷。 小城之行一结束，父亲就决定要款待儿子。于是，他停顿片刻后说，“我亲爱的儿子，今日起你的生活开始了一个新的时期。现在，在所有这眩目景象及种种赏心乐事中，选出你最喜爱的，你立刻就能得到它。”“由我任意选择？”年轻的隐居者大叫，“啊，谢谢你了，父亲，那就给我一只笨鹅吧！” Long ago, in a land far away, there lived a beautiful young girl. She was very sad. Her mother had died and her father had married again. His new wife had two ugly daughters, Esmerelda and Griselda. Soon after, her father also died and life immediately changed for the girl. &You will be our servant, &said her stepmother. &You will do everything we say.& &You must sleep in the kitchens, by the fire,& said the stepsisters. After tending the fire, and cooking and leaning, the girl's clothes were very dirty. She was called to clear away dishes. &There are cinders all over your clothes!& exclaimed the stepmother. &Cinders for Cinderella. That's your new name. Clear these things away, Cinderella.& &Cinderella! Cinderella!& sang Esmerelda and Griselda. &Oh, how clever you are, Mama!& Cinderella had to work very hard, as all the other servants were dismissed. One day, an invitation arrived from the palace. &Girls, listen to this,& said the stepmother. Cinderella was serving the breakfast. She listened as her stepmother read the invitation. &The King is having a ball,& she said, excitedly. &He is looking for a wife for the Prince! Oh, my dears, this is wonderful. He will probably choose one of you, but it will be such a hard choice to make. &Am I invited too, stepmother?& asked Cinderella. &You! Certainly not!& exclaimed her stepmother. &The thought of such a thing. A scruffy servant going to a ball, when only beautiful ladies are invited!& &Hah! Hah!& laughed the stepsisters. &Beautiful! That doesn't include you, Cinderella!& &You may help my two lovely girls to get ready,& said her stepmother. &Oh,& said Cinderella, sadly. &We shall all have new dresses, girls, and we shall go shopping today. Clear away these things, Cinderella.& 'Oh, I wish I could go to the ball,' thought Cinderella. The day of the ball arrived and the whole day was spent preparing Esmerelda and Griselda. Cinderella did her best to make the sisters look pretty, but it was an impossible task. Finally, the coach arrived to collect the girls and their mother. Cinderella was very tired and she wandered back to the kitchens. &Oh, I did so want to go,& she sighed as she sat down by the fire. &What's to stop you?& asked a voice. &Who's that?& asked Cinderella, looking around. &I'm here by the door.& A strange woman walked up to Cinderella. &I heard you the other day, wishing you could go to the ball. Well, the ball
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英语笑话故事 He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。 I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, &What happened?& &A kid bit me,& replied Ivan. &Would you recognize him if you saw him again?& asked his mother. &I'd know him any where,& said Ivan. &I have his ear in my pocket.& 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. &What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?& &I gave it to a poor old woman,& he answered. &You're a good boy,& said the mother proudly. &Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?& &She is the one who sells the candy.& 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, &What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?& &Well, my son,& his father replied, &look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.& &But, dad,& the boy said, & there's only ONE policeman!& 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: &You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?& &In the rat-trap, sir,& replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。 英语小笑话 上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, &Do you know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著 性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) & 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的 一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是 A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.
请登录后再发表评论!经典幼儿英语笑话带翻译-我只想要100美元
【网络综合 - 少儿英语】★以下是无忧考网少儿英语频道为大家整理的《经典幼儿英语笑话带翻译-我只想要100美元》，供大家参考。更多内容请看本站频道。When he got no response, he thought it would be a good idea to write to God and see if that worked.The post office received the letter addressed to “God, Los Angeles.” They decided that it would be best to just forward the letter to the mayor. The mayor read the letter and thought it was cute, so he asked his secretary to send the boy $10, thinking the boy would think that was a lot of money for a little boy.When Sammy got the money, he was so excited that he sat down immediately to write a thank-you letter.“Dear God,” he wrote, “Thank you very much for the money you sent. I guess it is to be expected but I thought you should know this: When you sent it through City Hall, the government deducted（扣除，减去） $90.”当他没有回应的时候，他认为写信给上帝是一个好主意，看看这是否奏效了。邮局收到这封信给“上帝，洛杉矶”，他们决定，这将是最好的只是向市长的信。市长看了这封信，认为它很可爱，所以他请他的秘书给男孩发10美元，他认为这是一个小男孩的钱。萨米收到钱的时候，他非常兴奋，立刻坐下来写一封感谢信。“亲爱的上帝，”他写道，“非常感谢你给我的钱。我想这是可以预料到的但我想你应该知道：当你把它通过市政厅，政府扣除（扣除，减去）90美元。”您现在的位置：&&>&
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