she is gonedetermined t...

 大学英语精读2课文翻译全_英语学习_外语学习_教育专区。大学英语精读第二册课文翻译 董亚芬主编 Unit1 The Dinner Party 关于男人是否比女人更勇敢的一场激烈争论以...  精读翻译答案_英语学习_外语学习_教育专区。Unit 1 Vocabulary 1. 4) Translate the following into Chinese. 1.很多人都认同,大学扩招是一个大业绩。 2.提供...  大学英语精读翻译 Unit1 1) 史密斯太太对我抱怨说,她经常发现与自己十六岁的女儿简直无法沟通。 Mrs. Smith complained to me that she oftenfound it simply ...  现代大学英语精读1第二版1-10课文翻译_英语学习_外语学习_教育专区。 课文翻译(Unit1――10) 第一单元 Translation of Text A 半日 1 我走在...  精读翻译_英语学习_外语学习_教育专区。精读4 一至五单元 翻译第一单元: 1.I know I could rely on my brother to stand by me no matter what (whatever)...  5.他被指控犯盗窃罪。事实上,他是无辜的。 He was reduced to thief, but actually he was innocent. 6.除了女主角的表演有点过火外,这是一部优秀的影片。...  精读翻译_英语学习_外语学习_教育专区。1. 年轻人总是展望未来,哪个时代都是如此。(be true of) Young people always look into the future. This is true of...  精读英语翻译_英语学习_外语学习_教育专区。三花专用复习讲义 U1 1、 我们像在暖房里种花那样养孩子是错误 的。 我们必须让他们接触各种社会问题, 因为不久他们就...  精读五翻译三 8页 1财富值 精读第六册翻译 17页 2财富值如要投诉违规内容,请到百度文库投诉中心;如要提出功能问题或意见建议,请点击此处进行反馈。 ...IS this emotional abuse?
Hello. I would like to understand why my sibling feels she was abused by the rest of the family. We have all been loving and have helped her in the best way we could, ran all her errands, did all the wedding arrangements, helped her during her divorce, helped her in her business, looked after her home when she was not in the country, looked after her pet and the list goes on.
But because we did not travel to be with her during her divorce ( we were on the email and phone everyday, helped financially and even found friends in the city where she lived to take care of her), she holds it against us.
She complains that when she visits us, we dont show her a good time, or plan a dinner in her honor ( we would take her out for dinner, as I am tired at the end of a long day and as i do not entertain, going out is a stress reliever and also while she is visiting, she will complain and fight, that plans eventually are cancelled)
She says we never sent her cards on significant occasions ( I would always email to wish or call. I do not plan in advance to buy cards and post it, and do not expect anyone to do so for me)
All this she says is emotional abuse.
Am I in the wrong?
Any advise is truly appreciated. Thank you
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Hi, shes wrong and what more does she want? What about her, what has she done to change the world lately???
Hi, shes wrong and what more does she want? What about her, what has she done to change the world lately???
fj,&&family dynamics are just really impossible to perceive over the internet so it's hard to try to weigh in on what's going on.
I think we've all seen families like this.&&Where there is one sibling who never feels like they got a fair shake in the family and everyone else is mystified as to why.
fj,&&family dynamics are just really impossible to perceive over the internet so it's hard to try to weigh in on what's going on.
I think we've all seen families like this.&&Where there is one sibling who never feels like they got a fair shake in the family and everyone else is mystified as to why.
What is or is not emotional abuse isn't really what she is griping about, so there is no point coming back and trying to define it so you can show how wrong she is in claiming it.&&In fact, there is little enough point in wasting your breath on this.&&Her grievances are because she has emotional needs that are not being fulfilled.&&She will still have the emotional needs that drive her to say things like that no matter whether you are able to argue her down about whether what is happening is emotional abuse.
I wouldn't even bother to dispute the label with her.&&I'd just say, &Well, this is as good as it is going to get, you're not a child any more nor are we your mommy.&&I guess if you want to be angry and blame us you're just going to have to be angry and blame us.&&&
But if you don't want to put it back into her lap her like that, you could write her a note that lays out the things you said above, i.e.:
&We have all been loving and have helped you in the best way we could, ran your errands, did your wedding arrangements, helped during the divorce, helped in your business, looked after your home when you were not in the country, looked after your pet.&&But because we did not travel to be with you during your divorce (we were on the email and phone everyday, helped financially and even found friends in the city where you lived to take care of you), you hold it against us.&&You complain that when you visit us, we don't show you a good time, or plan a dinner in your honor (we take you out for dinner, as I am tired at the end of a long day and do not entertain) and also while you are visiting, you complain and fight, and plans eventually get cancelled. You are angry that I email or call instead of mailing you cards on significant occasions, though I don't send cards to anyone, nor expect them.&&I guess this is the best I'm going to be able to do, you are either going to have to get used to it or we might have to detach a bit.&&&Then see what she says.&&
Keep in mind, emotional tennis is a two-person game, and it sounds like you are as determined to show her that you are right and she is wrong, as she is determined to show you that she is right and you are wrong, about the nature of the relationship.&&I wouldn't bother to play that game, myself.
What is or is not emotional abuse isn't really what she is griping about, so there is no point coming back and trying to define it so you can show how wrong she is in claiming it.&&In fact, there is little enough point in wasting your breath on this.&&Her grievances are because she has emotional needs that are not being fulfilled.&&She will still have the emotional needs that drive her to say things like that no matter whether you are able to argue her down about whether what is happening is emotional abuse.
I wouldn't even bother to dispute the label with her.&&I'd just say, &Well, this is as good as it is going to get, you're not a child any more nor are we your mommy.&&I guess if you want to be angry and blame us you're just going to have to be angry and blame us.&&&
But if you don't want to put it back into her lap her like that, you could write her a note that lays out the things you said above, i.e.:
&We have all been loving and have helped you in the best way we could, ran your errands, did your wedding arrangements, helped during the divorce, helped in your business, looked after your home when you were not in the country, looked after your pet.&&But because we did not travel to be with you during your divorce (we were on the email and phone everyday, helped financially and even found friends in the city where you lived to take care of you), you hold it against us.&&You complain that when you visit us, we don't show you a good time, or plan a dinner in your honor (we take you out for dinner, as I am tired at the end of a long day and do not entertain) and also while you are visiting, you complain and fight, and plans eventually get cancelled. You are angry that I email or call instead of mailing you cards on significant occasions, though I don't send cards to anyone, nor expect them.&&I guess this is the best I'm going to be able to do, you are either going to have to get used to it or we might have to detach a bit.&&&Then see what she says.&&
Keep in mind, emotional tennis is a two-person game, and it sounds like you are as determined to show her that you are right and she is wrong, as she is determined to show you that she is right and you are wrong, about the nature of the relationship.&&I wouldn't bother to play that game, myself.
Thank you for yours post and your clarity. You are right, She does have unfulfilled emotional needs. I do not want to play emotional tennis. I will tell her that I will be there for her as She is my sister, and I love her, but I would like for her to accept me for the kind of person I am. Do you think this is the best thing to do. Fj
Thank you for yours post and your clarity. You are right, She does have unfulfilled emotional needs. I do not want to play emotional tennis. I will tell her that I will be there for her as She is my sister, and I love her, but I would like for her to accept me for the kind of person I am. Do you think this is the best thing to do. Fj
Frankly, I would just leave the argument alone entirely and do what you do.&&Actions speak louder than words, and she will figure out eventually what you can offer and can't.&&The only way to stop an argument is to stop arguing.
Frankly, I would just leave the argument alone entirely and do what you do.&&Actions speak louder than words, and she will figure out eventually what you can offer and can't.&&The only way to stop an argument is to stop arguing.
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IS this emotional abuse?
Hello. I would like to understand why my sibling feels she was abused by the rest of the family. We have all been loving and have helped her in the best way we could, ran all her errands, did all the wedding arrangements, helped her during her divorce, helped her in her business, looked after her home when she was not in the country, looked after her pet and the list goes on.
But because we did not travel to be with her during her divorce ( we were on the email and phone everyday, helped financially and even found friends in the city where she lived to take care of her), she holds it against us.
She complains that when she visits us, we dont show her a good time, or plan a dinner in her honor ( we would take her out for dinner, as I am tired at the end of a long day and as i do not entertain, going out is a stress reliever and also while she is visiting, she will complain and fight, that plans eventually are cancelled)
She says we never sent her cards on significant occasions ( I would always email to wish or call. I do not plan in advance to buy cards and post it, and do not expect anyone to do so for me)
All this she says is emotional abuse.
Am I in the wrong?
Any advise is truly appreciated. Thank you
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