求一些英语笑话
小故事 和一些有趣的英语知识_百度知道
求一些英语笑话
小故事 和一些有趣的英语知识
英语笑话可以是冷笑话
英语故事和常识在50字到100字左右
按默认排序
其他4条回答
English joke Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.
Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily
A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?
The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!
At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing?
The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!!!
Father said: Wait!!!!!!!! I am coming with you
A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?
The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!!
The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip?
The wife: Very good, thank you.
The husband: And, what happened to my present?
The wife: Which present?
The husband: What I asked for: the English girl?
The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl!!!
A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn 't like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, &What are you waiting for? & The husband replies, &autumn. &
A man is sitting reading his newspaper when the wife sneaks up behind him and whacks(打) him on the head with a frying pan. &What the hell was that for? & he asks. &That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pockets with the name Mary Ellen written on it, & she replies. Don 't be silly, & he says. &Two weeks ago when I went to the races(赛马), Mary Ellen was the name of one of the horses I bet on. & She seems satisfied at this, and she apologizes. Three days later he 's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails(打，俚语) him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold. When he comes around, he asks again, &What the hell was that for? & &Your fucking horse just phoned. &
Wife to husband: you were so drunk last night that you insulted your boss.
Husband: piss on him! Wife: you did and he fired you!
Husband: fuck him!
Wife: I did and you can go back to work tomorrow.
A couple drove several miles down a country road with intense silence. Not a word was said to each other. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede his position. As they passed a barnyard of mules(骡子) and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, &Relatives of yours? & &Yep, & the husband replied, &in-laws &.An old man died and left his son a lot of money.But the son was a foolish young man, and he quickly spent all the money, so that soon he had nothing left. Of course,when that happened,all his friends left him. When he was quite poor and alone, he went to see Nasreddin, who was a kind, clever old man and often helped people when they had troubles.
'My money has finished and my friends have gone,' said the young man. 'What will happen to me now?'
'Don't worry, young man,' answered Nasreddn. 'Everything will soon be all right again. Wait, and you will soon feel much happier.'
The young man was very glad. 'Am I going to get rich again then?' he asked Nasreddin.
'No, I didn't mean that,' said the old man. 'I meant that you would soon get used to being poor and to having no friends
英语趣味小知识a)Ten animals I slam in a net. 我把十只动物一网打尽你注意到这句话有什么特别之处吗？对了，无论从左到右，还是从右到左，字母排列顺序都是一样的，英语把这叫做Palindromes 回文（指顺读和倒读都一样的词语），关于动物的回文还有以下的例子 O pup was Otto. （奥托看见了小狗，小狗的名字叫奥托） Was it a car or a cat I saw ?
Was it a rat I saw ? （我刚才看见的是条老鼠？）b)the bee's knees又来形容最好的至高无上的东西。[例] She is a very poor singer but she thinks she's the bee's knees. （她五音不全却自认为是高高在上的一流歌手。）该表现起源于20年代的美国，仅仅因为bee's 和 knees押韵，琅琅上口，迅速得到流传，直到现在， 还在日常生活非正式场合的对话中经常使用。
一位父亲正在检查儿子的英语课本，突然谈翻到极其恐怖的一页:yes- 爷死，nice-奶死，bus-爸死，mouth-妈死,jeeps-姐不死，girls-哥儿死,最后是was-我死。他老爸在后面加了句kiss-气死。
once there was a butterfly who is without winds,but he can fly as well.Y?because he is strong...
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出门在外也不愁英语阅读理解 翻译成中文短文，并完成练习_百度知道
英语阅读理解 翻译成中文短文，并完成练习
An old man died and left his son a lot of money. But
a foolish young man,and he quickly spent all the money, so
hehad nothing left.Of course ,when that happened,
lefthim.When he was quite poor and alone, he went to see Nasreddin, who
was a kind, clever old man and often helped people when they had troubles.
&My money has finished and my friends have gone,&said the young man. &What will happen to me now?&
&Don't worry , young man,&answered Nasreddin.&Everything will soon
be all right again.Wait ,and you will soon feel much happier.&
The young man was very glad.&Am I going to get rich again
heasked Nasreddin.
&No, I didn't mean that,& said the old man.&I
would soon get used to being poor and to having no friends.&
Multiple choice(
)1.An old man died and left his son_______.
A.nothing B.some gold
C. much money
was________, he
see Nasreddin.
A.short of money
B.quite poor and sick
D. quite poor and alone(
) 3.The young man was
said that________.
A.he would become rich again B. he
much happier
C.he would become
) 4.Nasreddin meant the young man______.
A.would get rich again
get used to having nothing
C.would get used to being in trouble D.would
get out of poorness(
) 5.What this story tells us is________.
is everything
B.that money makes the mare go
C.to save each
penny D. that misfortune tests the sincerity of friends
提问者采纳
一位老人死了之后给他儿子留下了很多钱，但是这个人是个愚蠢的年轻男人，他很快就花光了所有的钱，因此他很快就一无所有了，当然，发生这事后他所有的朋友都离开了他，当他相当贫穷和孤独，他去看望纳斯雷丁，他是一个善良，聪明的老男人，当人们有困难的时候他经常会帮忙。“我的钱没有了，朋友也走了“男人说”现在还有什么事会发生在我身上呢？“”不要担心，小伙子“纳斯雷丁答道，一切都将很快就会好起来，等等看，你很快就会感到很快乐。“小伙子很开心，“我会再次富起来吗？”他问纳斯雷丁。”不，我不是那意思“老人说，”我的意思是，你会很快习惯了贫穷和有没有朋友。“ C D B B C
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其他2条回答
1.C2.D3.A4.B5.C
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求超短的阅读理解！
不要古诗，但可以是诗歌尽量短，但不要短的过火要带题要速度，最好今天晚上，明天中午就终止
提问者采纳
An old man died and left his son a lot of money. But
a foolish young man,and he quickly spent all the money, so
hehad nothing left.Of course ,when that happened,
lefthim.When he was quite poor and alone, he went to see Nasreddin, who
was a kind, clever old man and often helped people when they had troubles.
&My money has finished and my friends have gone,&said the young man. &What will happen to me now?&
&Don't worry , young man,&answered Nasreddin.&Everything will soon
be all right again.Wait ,and you will soon feel much happier.&
The young man was very glad.&Am I going to get rich again
heasked Nasreddin.
&No, I didn't mean that,& said the old man.&I
would soon get used to being poor and to having no friends.&
Multiple choice(
)1.An old man died and left his son_______.
A.nothing B.some gold
C. much money
was________, he
see Nasreddin.
A.short of money
B.quite poor and sick
D. quite poor and alone(
) 3.The young man was
said that________.
A.he would become rich again B. he
much happier
C.he would become
) 4.Nasreddin meant the young man______.
A.would get rich again
get used to having nothing
C.would get used to being in trouble D.would
get out of poorness(
) 5.What this story tells us is________.
is everything
B.that money makes the mare go
C.to save each
penny D. that misfortune tests the sincerity of friends
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出门在外也不愁您当前的位置：&&&&&正文
八年级英语8AUnit5单元测试-_试题
八年级英语8A Unit5单元测试
一 用括号中所给单词的适当形式填空：(15分)1．&Is Zhang Bozhi waiting for you at the _____&&&&& ___(enter) at 9 a.m.?&& Yes, of course.2．&The two boys talked so ____&&&&& ___(noisy)that the teacher told them to be quiet.3．&Xie Tingfeng is ______&&&& __(happy) today because he lost his love.4．&I think it is important for us ____&&&& ____(protect)birds.5．&Keeping taking the lands means more and more wetlands will____&&&& __(appear).6．&I ____&&&&&&& ___(can swim) when I was ten years old.7．&If you _____&&&&&&& ___(not study)hard, you’ll fail the exam.8& Our plane_____&&&&& ___(leave)at nine o’clock tonight.9.& _____&&&& __you_____&&&& ___(go)to the airport tomorrow?10 . What ____&&&&&& ___(make)the pet cat so happy?11. Do you think ______&&&&&& __(give)is better than_____&&&& ____(receive)?12. Nancy often spends a lot of time_____&&&& __(practise)_____&&&& ___(sing).二．单项选择：（15分）(&&& )1. He ______much food_______the poor family during the hard time.A.provided,to&&&& &B. provides,with&& &&C.provided, with&& D. provides, for(&&& )2. The correct symbol of “therefore”is ___________.A.∵&&&&&&&&&&& &B.∴&&&&&&&&&&& &&C. ＜&&&&&&&&&&& D. ＞(&&& )3.I want to put the bookshelf here. Can you make_______for it?A.a space&&&&&& &&B.some spaces&&&& C.some more rooms&&& D.some space(&&& )4.Taiwan is_____ the east of China and ____the east of Fujian.A.in,in&&&&&&&& &&B.in,to&&&&&&&&& &&C. to, on&&&&&&&&& D.to,to(&&& )5.He is too old to run_________to catch the bus.A.fast& enough&& &B.fastly enough& &&C.enough fast&&& D.enough quickly(&&& )6.You can call me ______ or e-mail me _______.A. on,at&&&&&&&&& &B.at,on&&&&&&& &&C.by,on&&&&&&&& &D.on,on(&&& )7.I think ______necessary for us to learn English well.A. it&&&&&&&&&&& &&B. .that&&&&&&& &&C its&&&&&&&&&&& &D.that’s(&&& )8.This maths question is _______for us to answer.A.easy enough&&& &B.enough easy&& &&C.easily& enough &D.enough easily(&&& )9.Do we need more people______you______the flowers?A.help, water&&&&& &B.to help, water&& &&C.help, to water D.to help, watering(&&& )10.This kind of camera looks____and sells______in the shop.A.nice,well&&&&& &&B.good,good&&&&& &&C.nicely,well&&&& &D .good,nice(&&& )11.Look!Some women are chatting___over there and the rest_ _looking at the pictures carefully.A.happy,are&&&&&& &B.happily,is&&&&&& &C.happily,are&&&& &D.happy,is(&&& )12.About one third of the park_________by water.A. is covering&&&&& &B.is covered&&&&&&& &C.are covered&&& &D.are covering(&&& )13. Nobody likes him because he always thinks more of himself than________.A.other&&&&&&&&&& &B.the other&&&&&&&&& &C.others&&&&&&&& &D.the others(&&& )14.Today the forests are getting fewer and fewer. We must________down too many trees.A.keep people from cutting&&&&&&&&&&&&& &B.prevent people from cuttingC. stop people cutting&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& &D. all the above(&&& ) 15.____animals are in danger and there will be ____space for them if we don’t take any actions.A.More and more, more and more&&&&&&&& &B.Less and less, less and lessC.More and more, less and less&&&&&&&&&&& &D.Less and less, more and more三 中译英：(20分)1如果老虎饿了，它就会攻击人。__________________________________________________________________________2 猎人们为了毛皮和虎骨而猎杀老虎。__________________________________________________________________________3 我再也不买动物毛皮做的衣服了。__________________________________________________________________________4 孩子们迫不及待地了解保护野生动物的重要性。__________________________________________________________________________5 在世界的其他地方有很少的丹顶鹤。__________________________________________________________________________6 一些农民想改变湿地为农田让出更多的空间。__________________________________________________________________________7 越来越多的珍稀动物受到了政府的保护。__________________________________________________________________________8 我认为每天读英语很重要。__________________________________________________________________________9下星期我们不去野营因为我们要准备考试。__________________________________________________________________________10 直到冬天来临它才飞往南方做短暂停留。__________________________________________________________________________四& 完成下列同义句。(10分)1.& They think Shanghai is better than any other city in the world.They think Shanghai is__________ ___________city in the world.2.& In the end our team won the basketball final.&&&&& ________ ___________our team won the basketball final.3.& At the age of 10,she began to learn English.________ _________ ________ 10 years old, she began to learn English.4.& If we do nothing,soon there will be no more giant pandas.If we don’t ______ ________,soon there won’t ________giant pandas______ _______.5.& We provided food for the hungry children.We provided the hungry children _______ ________.6.& There won’t be any elephants if we don’t help them.There will_______ _________elephants if we don’t protect them.7.& There was a heavy rain last night.It _______ _________last night.8.& The Chinese government wants to help these birds in danger.The Chinese government wants to help these________ _________.9.& Every year, a lot of tourists go to Zhalong to watch birds.Every year,_________tourists go __________in Zhalong.10.& It is not right to hunt in a protected area. It is not right to fish there,either.It is________to hunt_________fish in a protected area.五．完型填空：（10分）Martin Henfield talks about some of his experiences (经历)as a twin:When we were small my mother dressed us ____1___ the same clothes. That was bad enough and we didn’t like it. But when we went on our first camping trip with the scouts (童子军), it was even ____2____. We were only ten years old, and while ___3___ went into their sleeping bags for the night, we were not happy to snuggle (紧偎) inside a double sleeping bag my mother made for us.At school our classmates ____4____ us Henfield One and Henfield Two, so people couldn’t even see our difference according to (根据) our initials (姓名的开头字母) because _____5__ of us were M. O. It was only when I went to college and began to have my own friends that I started to feel my own freedom of identity (身份).Before I went to college, during my last secondary school ____6____, I got a job on a building site (地点). My twin brother, Mike Henfield, didn’t work. He was resting. One day I said to the foreman (工头), “Can I have a week off?” “Certainly,” he said, “but you won’t have the job when you ____7____ back.” I didn’t want to ___8___ the job. So on Monday morning, Mike went down in my jeans , jacket and hat and he worked for me for one week. ____9____ of them knew the difference.Now I am growing old and I feel very different ___10__ my twin brother. And he’ll tell you the same. We have really worked towards that for forty years.　(&&& )　1.A. in 　　　&B. for 　　　　　　&C. on 　　　　　&&D. with 　(&&& )　2.A. bad　　&B. worse 　　　　&& &C. good　　　　&&D. best　(&&& ) 3.A. all boys &B. another boy 　&&& &C. all the other boys &D. all the boys　(&&& ) 4.A. called& &&B. asked 　　　　&&& &C. to 　　　　　　&D. knew　　(&&& ) 5.A. every& &&B. each 　　　　　&& &C. both 　　　　　&D. all　(&&& ) 6.A. holidays& &B. holiday 　　&&&&& &C. week 　　　　&&D. weekend　(&&& ) 7.A. get 　　&B. will get 　　　&&& &C. got 　　　　　&&D. are getting　(&&& ) 8.A. loose 　 &B. lost 　　　　　&&& &C. missing 　　　&&D. lose　(&&& ) 9.A. All 　　&B. None 　　　　　& &C. Each 　　　　&&D. Both　(&&& ) 10.A. in 　　 &B. from 　　　　&&& &C. with 　　　　　&D. as六& 阅读理解（20分）(A)Ali,who was working a long way from home wanted to send a letter to his wife,but he could neither read nor write, and he had to work all day,so he could only look for somebody to write his letter late atnight .At last he found the house of a letter writer whose name was Nasreddin.Nasreddin was already in bed.It is late,he said. What do you want? I want you to write a letter to my wife , said Ali , Nasreddin wasnot pleased. He thought for a few seconds and then said, Has theletter got to go far? What does that matter? answered Ali.Well, my writing is so strange that only I can read it, and if I have to travel a long way to read your letter to your wife, it will cost you a lot of money. Ali went away quickly.Multiple choice(&&& ) 1. Ali wanted to____to his wife.&&& &&A.get something& B.have a letter written &C.bring a flower &D. say good-bye(&&& ) 2. At last he found the house of_____.&&& &&A.a writer && B.a seller &&&C.an old man &&D.a letter-writer(&&& ) 3.When Ali told what he wanted to do Nasreddin was______.&&& &&A.not pleased &&&B.pleased &&&C.excited &&& D.angry(&&& ) 4.Nasreddin said that his writing was_____.&&& &&A.easy for anyone to read &&&&B.strange for anyone to read &&& &&C. too strange for anyone to write &&&D.difficult for anyone to read(&&& ) 5. This story tells us______.&&& &&A.not to ask anybody for help &&&B.not to trouble others at night&&& &&C.not to ask for help without money &&D.not to trust others&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& (B)An old man died and left his son a lot of money. But the son was a foolish young man,and he quickly spent all the money, so that soon hehad nothing left.Of course ,when that happened, all his friends lefthim.When he was quite poor and alone, he went to see Nasreddin, who was a kind, clever old man and often helped people when they had troubles.My money has finished and my friends have gone,said the young man. What will happen to me now?Don't worry,young man,answered Nasreddin.Everything will soon be all right again.Wait ,and you will soon feel much happier.The young man was very glad.Am I going to get rich again then? heasked Nasreddin.No, I didn't mean that, said the old man.I meant that you would soon get used to being poor and to having no friends.(&&& )1.An old man died and left his son_______.&&& &&A.nothing&& &&B.some gold&&& &&C. much money&& &D.only a house(&&& ) 2. When the son was________, he went to see Nasreddin.&&& &&A.short of money &B.quite poor and sick C.in trouble&& D. quite poor and alone(&&& ) 3.The young man was very glad because Nasreddin said that________.&&& &&A.he would become rich again&&&&&& &B. he would soon feel much happier&&& &&C.he would become clever&&&&&&&&& &D. he would have more friends(&&& ) 4.Nasreddin meant the young man______.&&&& &&A.would get rich again&&&&&&&&&&&& &B. would get used to having nothing&&& &&C.would get used to being in trouble&& D.would get out of poorness(&&& ) 5.What this story tells us is________.&&& &&A.that money is everything&&&&&&&&& &B.that money makes the mare go&&& &&C.to save each penny&&&&&&&&&&& D. that misfortune tests the sincerity of friends七 写作天地：写一篇关于老虎的调查报告：（10分）1．&漂亮的黄颜色动物，黑色的条纹，像猫，但比猫大的多；2．&住在茂密的森林里，以动物为食，它们能跑的很快，擅长猎取其他动物。3．&通常独居，以群居的方式直到小老虎2至3岁大时。4．&处于危险中，它们的数量正变的越来越小由于居住地的丧失5．&采取措施帮助它们，否则没有老虎了。__________________________________________________________________________&&&&&&& _________________________________________________________________________&&&& _&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
一1.entrance 2. noisily 3.unhappy 4.to protect 5.disappear 6.could swin7.don’t study 8.will leave \ is leaving 9.will, go 10.makes& 11. receiving 12. singing& 二DBDBA AAABA CBCDC& 三略& 四1.the biggest 2.At last 3.When she was 4.take actions, be any more 5.with foof 6.be no 7.rained 8.endangered birds 9.many ,birdwatching 10.wrong , or五ABCAB BADBB& 六BDACB& CDBBD&&& 七略
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