Bonniebank
I am 64 yrs old (but am a young 64 trainer obedience and sheepdogs and I ride an&&A.S.H. mare and have lessons in Dressage and Jumping. I have had brain surgery twice.&&One (each side of head) for a large aneurysm..that luckily they caught before it ruptured.
My sister's anueurysm ruptured (at aged 26) and after a 6 weeks in a coma, she passed away.
Among many problems I'm experiencing, (double, sight, lack
of balance and short term memory loss (which makes me sound like an idiot).
The doctors have made me special glasses so I can drive and ride my horse without seeing 2 of everything.
I am very tired and want advice on how to change my sleeping pattern. Then when I do get up I am tired for the rest of the day.
Whatever time I go to bed I can sleep for 12-15 hours.
We live on a farm so theres always lots to be done and my hubby doesn't understand. We sleep in seperate rooms and he walks past me all day without saying anything. He will not talk to me or go to a councilor to discuss everything.
It's got past love for my husband and I as he rarely talks to me (unless he HAS to)&&but I have to learnt how to function like a normal, loving human being to my friends and one by one, through meetings with me and my husband, my friends are telling me that they will tolerate him&&so as not to be involved and have to make a choice between us, but will never trust him&&and will&&always provide support f oe me and shelter for me, my 9 dogs and cat if it comes to this.
These are my two ideas to change my sleeping programme:
1.&& Stay awake all night so that I HAVE to go to sleep early&&the following evening, and my sleeping pattern may change,
or,
2.Get some sleeping tables from my doctor (will be hard as she's against them) and take them early in the evening to start my hours of sleep early and hopefully, wake up a lot earlier.
Anyone any ideas on these 2???????????
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Okay, I'm a guy so my views/experience may not gender-relate.
First, I was on the &Not getting older, getting better& until about the age of 67 when my heat atrial fibrillation came on permanent, and I had to have open heart surgery to repair my mitral valve.&&So, the &getting better& worked well and I recommend it, but the truth of aging will eventually override denial.&&Again, go for it, stay young and enjoy and if the physical limitations limit the work up to those limits and find new challenges you can handle, or grow to handle.
Try saying &good morning& and that sort of thing.&&I've been married to my wife for 52 years and we still sleep together most of the time, some times she sleeps in the guest bedroom say mostly it is sleeping problems.&&As far as counseling goes her doctors include a psychiatrist and occasional psychologist, Oncologist, and a few others, so it is hard to be optimistic.&&Still I thing the way to go is to try to engage in activities we can both do and enjoy, including meeting new people, making us of county park and library programs... we used to hike, bike ride and ski, but no more.&&All these things make it hard to sleep, which may be the problem that brings me to this community.
Sorry if I ramble off.
My sleep problems, for another touch point, is trouble mares, not night mares, just dreams every night that make me depressed when I wake up.&&Most are related to my past life, but in the dreams everything goes wrong.
I have prescription generic sleeping pills, but rarely use any, may have use a half dose once or twice in the whole of January.&&
I have tried melatonin,&&over the counter, you might want to try that or sleep aids containing that natural ingredient.&&Try to get lots of sun shine, or at least direct exposure to daylight even use artificial bright light for reading or just sitting. Then, try some melatonin, be sure your bedroom is quiet, dark and good temp/humidity.&&I like cool myself, not cold something around 60 degrees, then I do fine with 66 degrees for up and about temperatures.
I responded in a complicated way, sorry, I am trying to connect so that my inputs are from a person, not a computer subroutine.
I think the first order is to keep a smile and keep being a friend (and this can be hard) to your husband.&&Talk when you can, but don't try to force conversation.&&I assume your husband is okay, and has lived with for years, you love of animals.&&Clearly that is something important to you, and it can be a common interest, if it isn't a common interest, then I guess you have to enjoy it as a separate issue.
Try to focus on friends who are more interested in your happiness than in &trashing men&.&&I know long term relationships don't get easier, at least they haven't in my experience.&&Still, I don't want to throw them away, the long term relationship can not be replace, no one else in the world can relate to your life more than someone who has shared it day-by-day.
If you have dream problems, I have a few ideas/question on that too, let me know.
Okay, I'm a guy so my views/experience may not gender-relate.
First, I was on the &Not getting older, getting better& until about the age of 67 when my heat atrial fibrillation came on permanent, and I had to have open heart surgery to repair my mitral valve.&&So, the &getting better& worked well and I recommend it, but the truth of aging will eventually override denial.&&Again, go for it, stay young and enjoy and if the physical limitations limit the work up to those limits and find new challenges you can handle, or grow to handle.
Try saying &good morning& and that sort of thing.&&I've been married to my wife for 52 years and we still sleep together most of the time, some times she sleeps in the guest bedroom say mostly it is sleeping problems.&&As far as counseling goes her doctors include a psychiatrist and occasional psychologist, Oncologist, and a few others, so it is hard to be optimistic.&&Still I thing the way to go is to try to engage in activities we can both do and enjoy, including meeting new people, making us of county park and library programs... we used to hike, bike ride and ski, but no more.&&All these things make it hard to sleep, which may be the problem that brings me to this community.
Sorry if I ramble off.
My sleep problems, for another touch point, is trouble mares, not night mares, just dreams every night that make me depressed when I wake up.&&Most are related to my past life, but in the dreams everything goes wrong.
I have prescription generic sleeping pills, but rarely use any, may have use a half dose once or twice in the whole of January.&&
I have tried melatonin,&&over the counter, you might want to try that or sleep aids containing that natural ingredient.&&Try to get lots of sun shine, or at least direct exposure to daylight even use artificial bright light for reading or just sitting. Then, try some melatonin, be sure your bedroom is quiet, dark and good temp/humidity.&&I like cool myself, not cold something around 60 degrees, then I do fine with 66 degrees for up and about temperatures.
I responded in a complicated way, sorry, I am trying to connect so that my inputs are from a person, not a computer subroutine.
I think the first order is to keep a smile and keep being a friend (and this can be hard) to your husband.&&Talk when you can, but don't try to force conversation.&&I assume your husband is okay, and has lived with for years, you love of animals.&&Clearly that is something important to you, and it can be a common interest, if it isn't a common interest, then I guess you have to enjoy it as a separate issue.
Try to focus on friends who are more interested in your happiness than in &trashing men&.&&I know long term relationships don't get easier, at least they haven't in my experience.&&Still, I don't want to throw them away, the long term relationship can not be replace, no one else in the world can relate to your life more than someone who has shared it day-by-day.
If you have dream problems, I have a few ideas/question on that too, let me know.
Follow up, I did a quick look back and saw your profile shows you as a male, you may want to correct.&&I don't reply to emphasize gender, but I think it good to know when communicate:&&same gender or different, same age or different, that sort of thing. This can make the communications more efficient.
Follow up, I did a quick look back and saw your profile shows you as a male, you may want to correct.&&I don't reply to emphasize gender, but I think it good to know when communicate:&&same gender or different, same age or different, that sort of thing. This can make the communications more efficient.
Oh thank you. How silly of me.
Oh thank you. How silly of me.
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Bonniebank
I am 64 yrs old (but am a young 64 trainer obedience and sheepdogs and I ride an&&A.S.H. mare and have lessons in Dressage and Jumping. I have had brain surgery twice.&&One (each side of head) for a large aneurysm..that luckily they caught before it ruptured.
My sister's anueurysm ruptured (at aged 26) and after a 6 weeks in a coma, she passed away.
Among many problems I'm experiencing, (double, sight, lack
of balance and short term memory loss (which makes me sound like an idiot).
The doctors have made me special glasses so I can drive and ride my horse without seeing 2 of everything.
I am very tired and want advice on how to change my sleeping pattern. Then when I do get up I am tired for the rest of the day.
Whatever time I go to bed I can sleep for 12-15 hours.
We live on a farm so theres always lots to be done and my hubby doesn't understand. We sleep in seperate rooms and he walks past me all day without saying anything. He will not talk to me or go to a councilor to discuss everything.
It's got past love for my husband and I as he rarely talks to me (unless he HAS to)&&but I have to learnt how to function like a normal, loving human being to my friends and one by one, through meetings with me and my husband, my friends are telling me that they will tolerate him&&so as not to be involved and have to make a choice between us, but will never trust him&&and will&&always provide support f oe me and shelter for me, my 9 dogs and cat if it comes to this.
These are my two ideas to change my sleeping programme:
1.&& Stay awake all night so that I HAVE to go to sleep early&&the following evening, and my sleeping pattern may change,
or,
2.Get some sleeping tables from my doctor (will be hard as she's against them) and take them early in the evening to start my hours of sleep early and hopefully, wake up a lot earlier.
Anyone any ideas on these 2???????????
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MedHelp is a division of .Laura Kemp shares her bed with six-year-old and puts husband in spare room | Daily Mail Online
I share my bed with my six-year-old - and put my husband in the spare room
23:31 BST, 5 February 2014
00:40 BST, 6 February 2014
My beautiful, king-sized bed and the arms of my loved one await me every night as I climb the stairs at 10pm. I quietly put on my pyjamas and slip under the duvet next to him, before planting a kiss on his forehead and drifting off to sleep.For any couple, this would be a lovely night-time ritual to round off a busy day. But the person sharing my bed for the past 18 months is not my husband Jamie, but my six-year-old son Paddy.While the two of us snuggle up happily every night, my husband of five years has been downgraded to the small double bed in the spare room along the hall, with only the clothes drier for company.
Laura Kemp with her husband Jamie and their adorable son Paddy
I do not choose to sleep with my child every night because I am some New-Age, clingy mother who feels it is best for his development. I do it because it upsets him too much to be away from me and — if I’m really honest — I adore it, too.I never planned for things to turn out this way. When Paddy, our only child, was a newborn, I couldn’t wait to get him into a cot in his own room as his snuffles kept me awake. I still fretted if I couldn’t hear him breathing, but I wanted him to learn independence.I felt sorry for all the ‘co-sleeping’ mums I met, who lamented the loss of their bedroom and longed to reclaim it as a child-free zone. As a 34-year-old working mother, bedtime was me-and-Jamie time. With an active toddler and demanding jobs, we needed that physical and mental break to recharge for the next day and were strict to ensure Paddy settled easily in his own bed. And it stayed that way until our son was four-and-a-half and caught a vomiting virus which made his temperature soar.
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Like any concerned mother would, I brought him into our bed so I could comfort him and give him water and medicine without having to walk the draughty length of the corridor between our rooms. Jamie decamped into the spare bed without question. As a writer, he needed a good night’s sleep ahead of work the next day and appreciated that Paddy needed his Mummy. After a week, the illness passed and I moved Paddy back into his own lower bunk bed with his favourite Star Wars covers. But he crept back into our room that night around 2am, complaining of loneliness and being scared of the dark. DID YOU KNOW?The percentage of infants who share a bed with their parents has doubled to 14 per cent in the past 20 years
After a few feeble attempts at sending him to his bed only for him to wander straight back to ours, Jamie and I buckled and allowed him in rather than spend hours cajoling a wailing child back to his room.
Paddy would squeeze in between us and spread his warm little limbs out like a starfish, leaving Jamie and me clinging to the edges of the mattress and being constantly disturbed by jabbing elbows and knees.The next night, we tried again to settle Paddy in his own bed, but he was inconsolable.After gallons of tears and clinging cuddles, we decided he should sleep in our bed while Jamie moved temporarily into the spare room. It was just a phase, we said. He’d get over it.But he didn’t. Now Paddy and I have been sharing a bed for 18 months, inevitably leading to the odd grumble from Jamie. I know most men would kick up a real stink if they were chucked out of the marital bed in favour of their child, but I’m lucky that our marriage is rock-solid and that my husband is absolutely amazing in every way. He always puts others’ needs before his and Paddy’s well-being is of paramount importance to both of us.Of course, there are times when Jamie feels left out and he’ll often pop his head round our bedroom door after we’ve kissed goodnight on the landing and ask if he can come in.
I always say yes, but I can’t bear being cramped and squashed for long. Soon, I’ll shoo Jamie off to the spare room, explaining that Paddy and I are tired and need our sleep.When I tell people my six-year-old boy sleeps with me, they immediately berate me for ignoring Jamie’s needs and imply there’s something inappropriate in my behaviour.
Laura is making the most of the extra bonding time sharing a bed with her son has brought
But they’re wrong. If anything, the sleeping arrangements have improved our sex life, because Jamie and I make opportunities for intimacy outside the marital bed. We were never strictly ‘Saturday night’ working a lot from home, we often treat ourselves to a siesta during the day.Anyway, Jamie accepts that our sleeping arrangements have not exactly been helped by the fact that shortly after Paddy’s illness, he started a new job which took him to America and the Middle East every other week or so for up to 26 weeks a year. It didn’t seem a good time to tackle the problem of where Paddy slept. After all, his routine had already been disturbed and he missed his Daddy. I also felt more secure having Paddy near me at night should we be broken into or worse.At first, when Jamie returned from his trips, we’d all climb into the king-sized bed together, Paddy once again squeezed in the middle, blissfully snuggled between his parents. But, jetlagged and exhausted, Jamie’s snoring would soon reach epic proportions, keeping me and Paddy awake. So he’d be dispatched back to the spare room.
Helpful husband: 'I know most men would kick up a real stink if hey were chucked out of the marital bed in favour of their child, but I'm lucky that our marriage is rock-solid and that my husband is absolutely amazing in every way'.
Eighteen months on, we’ve got used to sleeping apart, unless we have guests or go on holiday, when we all pile in together.We used to worry about doing the ‘right thing’ and would try to get our son interested in his own bed again.We did everything the childcare experts and other parents recommended — buying a new duvet cover and putting interesting stickers on the walls, allowing him to choose the design — but nothing worked.Paddy just
if he wasn’t ready to go, then I wasn’t going to force him.Perhaps, if he’d had a sibling, then we’d have drawn a tighter boundary or got him to share a room with his brother or sister. But for now, he is happy and so are we. Aghast friends have told me that in sleeping with my six-year-old son I am making a rod for my own back by making him too dependent on me. But I think they’re wrong. Paddy is in Year One at school where his teachers say he is happy, confident and sociable. He is secure enough to leave Mummy at the school gate and isn’t remotely clingy when he gets home. It’s just that at night he needs to feel close to me.But friends remain quietly horrified. Over Sunday lunch recently, one who is a teacher, shuddered at the thought of sleeping with any of her children while her GP husband criticised our ‘slack parenting’, saying it showed we were letting our son rule the roost.
Bed buds: After trying everything to get her son to sleep in his own room, Laura has let up and allowed Paddy to share her double bed
But even though it is a taboo subject, I am convinced there are plenty of parents out there who secretly enjoy sharing this unique, intimate space with their child.There are a couple of mums in my circle who admit to having their sons cuddle up to them at night. And let’s not forget that in other parts of the world, whole families sleep together.But I know this arrangement cannot go on for ever. Paddy will go into his own room as soon as he is ready. I do ask him from time to time if he wants to sleep in his own bed, and he simply says: ‘Not yet.’ He knows his own mind, just like he did when he decided he didn’t want to wear nappies any more at two-and-three-quarter years old. Some of my friends are concerned he will be bullied for sharing a bed with his mother. But, again, they’re wrong. Paddy’s friends know he doesn’t sleep in his own room and he hasn’t been teased about it. Perhaps this is because some are doing the exactly the same thing or they are just at an accepting age. As for mine and Jamie’s parents, they consider it more eccentric than unnatural. Besides, they’ve heard Jamie’s snoring and understand why I’d rather sleep in a different room.I don’t really care what anyone else thinks. What I share with my son is innocent and magical and I won’t let anyone imply otherwise.Paddy will move back into his own bedroom when he gets to the age he wants his own privacy. After all, have you ever heard of an 18-year-old who is eagerly still climbing into his parents’ bed? Until then I will cherish our nights together.Mums On Strike, by Laura Kemp, (Arrow, ?7.99).
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