< - The story of one man, his tiny dick, and lots of amateur girls
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husband, Jack, has the smallest little penis I have ever seen in my
life. I don't even fuck him anymore... it's THAT small LOL. Recently,
I've been inviting my girlfriends over for special surprises. They get
all excited thinking about what it could be. Then when they show up and
see that their surprise is that they have to jerk, suck and fuck my husband's
pathetic little penis, they are not very happy. But we have fun anyway,
laughing at Jack and his dick and talking all about what kinds of big
dicks we like to fuck, and i'll tell you one thing. It's Definitely NOT
Wow...No wonder you never dated in high school Jack.
I invited my friend Leah over for some fun.
Jack had been talking about her the whole week and he was so excited to see her because she's a pornstar!...but when she saw his tiny pathetic little dick...She
couldn't stop laughing.
She sat on his face and told him that since she wasn't going to get any pleasure from him little weiner that he'd have to please her with his tongue.
His tongue didn't do much but it was a ton more than he could do with his small penis.
i'm a little confused, is it shriveled up because you’re cold?
Teddi is one of my friend who i thought would have a really fun time with jack, although she wasn't too happy when she saw what little he was working with, she ended up having fun with it. She laughed at him and made fun of his little peepee. I think all those tattoos
were intimidating to jack.
Because the poor guy just lays there as she takes control..Well she definitely tore him apart, eventually she was able to make his pathetic excuse for a dick, cum..
it wasn't much of a load, but she was glad it was over with. This was a fun shoot, I hope she'll return for another run at Jack. :o_)
So how does it feel to have a pacifier for a penis Jack?
Jack had the opportunity of a lifetime when I had Jada Stevens over to play with him.& He has seen so many movies with her in them and he's totally infatuated.& Well he had no problem getting hard,
but when Jada realized his penis wasn't going
to get any bigger, she wasn't too happy.& She sucked his little dick just like she does in the movies...except she didn't gag or deep throat it.& How could she?!?!?& It's too freakin' small!& She got on top of him and tried hard to make the best of the SMALL situation, but it wasn't doing much for her at all.& But god bless Jack.& He was having a ball and even came while she was fucking him.
How do you aim when you pee Jack? you must dribble...LOL
When my friend came over, she thought she was getting her first really
big cock instead she got her first really really small penis. After she
saw how small Jack was, she pulled our the measuring tape and measure Jack's penis.
She said her has never seen a small dick like that in her life, that's surprising LOL. She can even barely put her hands around it when she jerks him off, so she had to use her thumbs and her index finger to get him off. She jerks
and laughs at Jack, he was so embarrassed he had known her for a
long time. She talks about how its not really a penis but a clit and
how we should dress him up like a bitch. Amazed that Jack
could finally cum, she watches how his pathetic penis shrinks back into
its hole, poor Jack LOL...
I hope your parents sued the doctor who circumcised you!
My friend said she hasn't been laid in a while. She was telling
me how she craves a big hard cock. I told her I could hook her up. So she comes
over and there is pathetic Jack. She is so excited she grabs him thru the towel
realizes she is getting caught short. She laughs at his small penis and this is where it gets good. She starts trying
to stroke the little dick, then takes
off her earring and comparejack's dick with it. The earring is bigger of course.
umm...where is the extra, extra small condom, umm.. Got it!
Bailey is a friend of mine who came over to see Jack.& She has a super hot body.& I knew Jack was gonna LOVE her.&
She stripped for him and sucked his little dick to get it nice and hard.& It didnt' get bigger, but it did get harder. Bailey tried fucking Jack for a while but she
wasn't getting any pleasure out of it, so she suggested he eat her pussy.
He did.& Jack tried really hard to satisfy her with his tongue cuz we all knew his pathetic excuse for a cock wasn't going to.
Bailey decided to try fucking him again.& She rode him like a cowgirl but his tiny pecker kept popping out.& When she laid on her back so Jack could fuck her missionary style, she couldn't even feel it!& Jack finally came after she was stroking his little wiener for a while.& When she saw how little he came, she was annoyed and left.& PEACE!
I can't give you a handjob, how about a thumbjob?
Yesterday was one of the rare times my neighbor Elle
was home. She is a very hot milf and she is a big cock lover. So I told her I
had a surprise for her and it was time to laugh at Jack. . She was shocked his penis was so small and made fun of it the
whole time she was jerking him. She has huge tits and she compares his little
penis to them, of course they are nothing in comparison to jack little wee wee,
it's so funny watching Jack just laying there getting humiliated by this sexy
Wow... I&ve smoked joints thicker and longer than this.
Talk about some shit talking!& Sierra was really letting Jack have it.& She didn't hold back at all.& Telling him how small his dick was and how she couldn't feel itJack got a little hardon and then lost it.& He couldn't
even stay hard and fuck her hot Latina ass.& Sierra thought he and his little dick was the most pathetic thing she'd ever seen.& She eventually got bored and left.
Below Are The Ladies That've Got A Taste Of Jack!!!
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| Labeled withAfter much thought during the Christmas season, we realized we hadn't actually taken time off just for us for almost 3 years. So in true Bam and Share spirit, we booked a holiday while we were in Canada to , a tiny island off of Cancun. I'm writing this while laying on the bed in our very white hotel room, with the patio doors open and the Caribbean breeze blowing. We've been here for four glorious days and in a nutshell, here's the experience so far...
DAY ONE: After arriving the night before around 7:30 pm by the time we got to the island, it was nice to wake up with no plans and nothing to do. The sun was shining and since we had slept in until around 11 am (!!!) we sauntered down to the beach which is right where our hotel is. We are staying at the
on Playa Norte. (North Beach). We spent a careful (ie - using tons of sunscreen) day on the beach, swimming and trying out our snorkel gear. Hanging around just getting the feel for the place. I was happy just to swim about and enjoy the shallow CLEAR blue water and so was Bam. Wow. We discovered our hotel had wireless internet but agreed not to check our email until we get back. Hey, that's a huge thing for us!!!!
At night we strolled through the tiny town and found the main street of shops and hawkers. We ate a charming little restaurant called Comono's. Being raw vegan on vacation is never easy so we also agreed to settle for just vegan when we had to in order not to starve! But at Comono's we found some decent salads and then went shopping at the local grocery store. There was lots of action going on the plaza square what with Christmas coming to a close. All sorts of musicians and street vendors were on hand and lots of pretty lights. Whew. We're on holiday!!!
or just click that pic.
DAY TWO:Our second day began much like the first. We slept in! Wow! Had our usual fruit breakfast in our room. Then off to the beach which is about 28 steps from the door of our hotel. Nice. More swimming and lazing about. This is the life!!!!
We tried a different restaurant called
and liked their salad but weren't impressed with their so-called 'fresh' fruit juice which we found out was actually from a box. Ah well. We raw vegans are so picky eh? On a very positive note, we found the vendor on the beach who sells fresh coconuts and just hacks the end off for you and sticks the straw in there. Soooooo good!
At night we wandered into town again and met with
to talk about snorkeling with him the next day. He said to come back at 8:40 in the morning and we would settle up then as he cancels if the weather isn't good.
We were both excited now and couldn't wait to snorkel. (like little kids the night before Christmas!) We could hardly relax but managed to meander thru town again and wore ourselves out for an early night.
or click the pic above on the right.
DAY THREE:I used my cell phone as our alarm and had forgotten to change the time! So the alarm didn't go off. But the tropical birds woke us up and our excitement got us out of bed in time to eat some fruit and head to Captain Tony's for our big boat snorkel. Being the king and queen of preparedness, we both took seasick pills called Triptone so we wouldn't get sick on the long boat ride.
Ahhh.. Our first disappointment. He said it was too rough to go. He is a very honest captain and we highly recommend his services as he is simply straight up and speaks good english. But we were bummed out. Never mind. On the way back to the hotel we passed a cute little place that offered up all sorts of organic foods so we stopped there for fruit plates and lemon and chaya smoothies. It was
and is a very cool place if you like healthy food. They also offer yoga and have hotel style rooms for rent, too. Definitely a good find.
With a belly full of yummy fruits we meandered back to the beach and stumbled across another snorkel outfit who said they would take us out to a close by place. (the place with Captain Tony is Isla Contoy and is an hour boatride.) Meanwhile, remember those seasick pills? Wooooah! Those were kicking our asses now. We managed to sign up for the snorkel boat and asked for 1pm hoping the pills would be worn off by then. We forced ourselves back to our hotel. No easy task as we both wanted to lay down on the warm sand and just go to sleep! Those pills were like VALIUM!!!! But sorta coupled with a weird anxiety at the same time.
What felt like an hour but was only 10 minutes back to the hotel... we both nearly collapsed into the bed and slept until 12:30. Whew.
Back in to our snorkeling stuff and off we went ... We headed out to a little reef and saw some cool fish. But ... the water was colder than we thought and we had to wear these little life preserver vests which made it next to impossible to dive down and get photos. Hmmm.... what to do. We decided diving was where it was happening.
So that night we wandered thru town and found the shop close to Captain Tony's called . We booked our 'resort dive' with Enrique and now were really really excited! We had to be there at 8am the next day and we could get our deposit back if we changed our minds. When we got back to the hotel we checked the weather reports like every 30 minutes. Frantically hoping for good weather. The sites were predicting rain and and high winds. Not a good thing for beginning diving. But hey, we're not to be stopped!!!!
We watched the sunset and had a mellow evening together. Learning to slow down. Yes I am. Honest. &
or click the pic of fishies!
Day 4 THE DIVE coming soon!!!!!
Sometimes, you just gotta be goofy! We went to Palm Springs over Thanksgiving. Sort of a 'run away' from everything type holiday. Since Bam is British and we're raw vegans, Thanksgiving isn't much of a holiday to us! Plus the fact that we have no family in Los Angeles... so come Wednesday morning, I said, how about we go to the beach for the day. Bam replied, &How about we go to Palm Springs instead?&
Two hours later we were on the road. If you ever want to stay in Palm Springs, I highly recommend the Chase Hotel. Saline swimming pool and kitchens in most of the rooms! Awesome place!
We went hiking behind the art/fart museum and visited the art festival that was happening. We even bought some art from this guy - .
FIBER WISEWell, I've taken on a blanket! Yep. A great big huge blanket for our leopard print couch. We've been using this blanket from ikea which is red/blue/green and it looks so terrible against the leopard print! Ewwwwww! In the meantime, of course... I must carry on with knitter's tradition and knit up a ton of Christmas prezzies! Arrrr!! Where will I find the time?
WORK WORK WORKWe have taken on a gazillion jobs. I guess it's good to be in demand. Mary J Blige, NLT, Ashlee Simpson... PLUS more episodes of ! But between now and Christmas.... I'm not sure how much posting I'll be doing here. Okay. Back to video editing now! Square eyes, here I come!
We got tickets for last night's performance of Eric Idle's new 'staged reading' play called
OMG! My face hurt from laughing so much! It was fantabulous! With all my favorite comedians, it could hardly not be funny... Billy Connolly, Tracey Ullman, Eddie Izzard, Tim Curry, Emily Mortimer... of course...
himself! Wow! It was brilliant! What a privilege. It's moments like that when I'm glad to live in Hollyweird!!!
KNIT KNITIt's finally gotten chilly enough to face some serious knitting again. I dug out the oh so not punk style knit from the top down black sweater that I've been working on for two years now (off and on!) for Bam. This thing. I tell ya. I had tried to be clever on the bottom ribbing and used the same size needles so it wouldn't get so super ribbing tight. But it looked AWFUL! So I squared up to the task and frogged the bottom and got all those stitches back on the needles. Whew. Nearly done ribbing the bottom now on needles two sizes smaller. After that... only one more sleeve to go and then he can wear it. Finally. I think it is a classic example of how knitting can happen over a loooooooong period of time. That's probably the most positive thing I can say about this UFO.
I have a list of babies to knit things for. I'm opting for nice little washcloths as it's fast and easy and I can actually get it done. If anyone else has super fast ideas? Plus the babies don't outgrow the washcloths. (unlike hats etc.) The list of babies is like.... hmmmmm. ... 10 of them? Somewhere around that number.
HOW SOCIAL CAN YOU BE?Ya know what almost drives me crazy? All this social networking stuff. How much time can you honestly spend on it and still have a productive day? And what does it get you anyway? Square eyes from staring at your computer? Do we really need to connect with people in this way?
so I can let everyone know where I've been and what I AM ALL ABOUT.
- more about me. Oh wait, I have a myspace profile for every one of my versions of me... Rock n Roll TV, Punk Knits, Share Ross, Bubble... etc etc.
are still going. . . .
so my 'followers' can know what I'm doing at every moment. The sick thing? I am on EVERY ONE OF THOSE! Okay, I don't exactly maintain them very well. But at one moment, I was suckered in to thinking, yeah! This will make my life better!
Seriously, if I really kept up on all of those networking sites in a way that was active... I would simply not get anything else done! How do folks do it? Are they all teenagers with no lives? We've become a society addicted to expressing who we are and which movies we like and which tv shows we like and what bands are our favorite. Maybe the dude in High Fidelity had it right .... &You're not defined by who you are. You're defined by what you like.& Truer words were never spoken.
With that in mind, if you love Billy Connolly, Eric Idle, Eddie Izzard and you love Keith Richards equally along with some Neil Young and the shows Heroes and Damages... chances are... I would probably truly love to know you. LOL!
In the world of cheese.... we've entered another contest! Yep. This one is for Kraft Grilled Cheese sandwiches. You can see our entry here:I hope it makes you smile!!!!
KNIT KNIT KNITIn the world of yarn.... I am soooo addicted to that Punta Del Este Yarn I mentioned in an earlier post. The bags of espresso colored cotton arrived at the Stitch Cafe so I must find time to head over there and pick it up so I can start our couch blanket. (to go with the leopard print couch of course!) My scarf is done and I will get a pic up this weekend. It is the softest, yummiest scarf ever and I know I will end up making another one for Bam as well. Although... he is already wearing this one! LOL.
WHAT HALLOWEEN?Wow. You know you're just not paying attention when this conversation happens:&Nobody is knocking on our door. Hmmm.& Bam said to me on October 31st around 8pm.&Why would people be knocking on our door?& I replied somewhat annoyed with his statement. Bam looked at me in disbelief. &Because it's Halloween? Hello?&
Wow. I had totally forgotten. Lame? Yes. Busy? Yes. Plus the fact we don't eat candy and all that... but still! Wow. Blame it on the California sunshine!!!! Hopefully I'll remember Thanksgiving and Christmas!!!! Ha!
Sometimes... ya just gotta let yourself go. I felt the need. I did the deed. RAWK ON and Happy Halloween!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we will return to our regularly scheduled programming after this moment of RAWK hysteria passes.
Bam and I did another video shoot the other day. This one was for
again. But this time it was only the singer, Jason who is super sweet. Well, they're all really nice guys. Anyway, , the director was blowing stuff up all day (as part of the treatment not just for kicks?!) and it was a fun shoot. It did go loooooong. We wrapped around 2:30 in the morning. But hey, it's a crazy life that someone has to lead, right?
We were there doing our usual 'B roll& stuff where we shoot and edit the 'making of' the video. The song that it was for is &Whatever It Takes&. Very cool!
Here's a pic of Bam and me on the rooftop in downtown LA. (he held the camera.)
And here's a shot of the fake brick wall stuff they used to make it look like a loft apartment... come to think of it... maybe all of LA is made of this stuff and is just gonna fall over in a big wind?
KNITTINGI'm about halfway done with a scarf that I'm making for myself out of this . It's the South American Cotton in colorway 522. I went crazy over the yarn and that inspired the projects. Don't ya love it when that happens? Lots of family members will be getting washcloths made out of this stuff. It the softest cotton yarn ever!!!!!! Doing a mistake rib type stitch and it's just so delicious to knit with and hold against my skin. I can't wait for colder weather!
I ain't talkin' about the tv show either! I'm talkin' about real, live heroes.... We went to see
last night to film them for
and they now officially have
as a member of their band. For those of you who don't know... Mike was the bassplayer in MC5!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was super cool and the band was kickin'. (as in
which yes... they did play last night.)
Very very cool. And his wife, the beautiful and charismatic Angela... is a knitter!
KNITTED FOSpeaking of which... here is a shot of the baby blanket I knitted up log cabin style. The edges were completed with crochet and it's so cute.
The baby is Sophie, the newest addition to our extended family.
PHILOSOPHY 101
I had a strange thought today. Along the lines of Buddhist thinking. Imagine if you woke up and you had all the same talents and skills and all the same family and friends but you had no recollection of your past experiences. You would simply get to move forward without any baggage. (good or bad). Because we truly have no past and only have this moment. Yet it's so difficult to grasp that concept. How freeing to lose our egos and expectations and lose those past regrets and .... wow.
Alright... it's sunny, I'm hungry and we're meeting some friends later to see
Wow. It's been over 105 everyday for nearly a week now. I think some of my braincells have actually melted away. We did manage to get to the beach TWICE this past week. Here's a shot post swimming/boogie boarding and ready to go have lunch....
Can you see the amazing bag on my shoulder? It's a pink bag with skulls on it and a fellow knitter named Cher sent it to me! I love it!!! Thank you Cher!!!!
It's been almost too hot to knit but I've still managed to sit on the couch with the A/C cranked and have nearly completed the log cabin baby blanket for the 4th grandkid. Gotta get it done!!!!!
What else.... nothin' much really. Just been hot. We filmed
the other night. Started at 10pm and finished around 5:30am. Even though all-nighters are rough... I didn't mind cuz even at that time... it was easily 95 degrees!
Alright... back to video editing.....
Please check out my band's site! xx
Big TopBubble: TBAOn our upcoming album.
Everytime we play this one live, the crowd goes bonkers.
Hey, it's our song and it's our album and even won SONG OF THE YEAR in the John Lennon Songwriting Contest.
Not bad for a bunch of rock n roll deadenders! (*****)
Beyond classic.
just perfect. (*****)
A classic. (*****)
Love this record.
Every track satisfies. (*****)
This shows how truly amazing they were.
Get it with the DVD set and let it rock n roll you up and down. (*****)
Just rocks me to tears. (*****)
This was the first track I heard when Bam joined the Wildhearts.
I loved it then and I love it now. (*****)
underrated band.
Tons of patterns and helpful forum here.
This is where I learned the basics!
Lots of patterns and terrific articles.
Great resource.
All purpose resource.
The Craftster Forum.
Lots of info on here and a great place to ask questions.
The title says it all - the place for creative anarchistic punk knitters to hang and brainstorm ideas and challenges!
Lots of helpful videos and illustrations on here.
powered by
Fun designs.
Good for fast projects that look very hip.
A knit designer's handbook!
If you are one of the 3 people who haven't read this, prepare to dive in and not take a breath until you're done.
Unbelievably good fun.
Great read!}