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Cuckold Phone Sex Links
By Karen | July 11, 2016
Got a sexy little cuckolding fantasy that you have always wanted to make come true?
This sexy MILF loves being a slut for big cock, and I love sharing all of my adventures on my search for the perfect college boy cock to cuckold my husband with.
This holiday weekend was a hot one, my husband is out of the country on a business trip and some of my MILF friends and I went out on a boat, owned by another MIA but generous cuckolded husband.
And of course, MILFs in bikinis and a little day drinking brings all the college boy cock out!
At least in my experience, a lot of college boys have MILF fantasies, after all, who better than a MILF to show you just what women really want?
I am sure you are getting major wood, thinking about all experienced milf pussy right there in bikinis, close enough to touch.
If you want to find out really fast just how in demand a cougar in heat is, you should spend some time with this MILF.
All of us MILFs got a lot of attention, it was more intoxicating than my Lime-aritas!
I boat hopped on the marina, drinking and dancing and just being a tease, giving each and every one of those sexy men attention, until I was just so horny, I only had to pick the lucky college boy.
Ever fuck on a boat?
It’s absolutely amazing, especially with a very eager horny fuck who wants to learn everything from Mrs. Robinson.
And then, the best part.
Going home, with a freshly creampied pussy, to wait for my husband to come and lick it up.
Want to know what happened next, in absolutely amazing detail, of how I cuckolded my husband with that college boy cock?
AIM:Karenridesu
By monica | January 4, 2016
A big hello out there to all my cuckolds!
I love cuckold virgins, almost as much as I enjoy fucking big black cock!
For whatever reason, all the new cuckolds, want to be cuckolds, bi curious cuckolds, and straight but want to suck big black cock cuckolds all find this big busty blonde cuckold queen for phonesex!
And you know how this curvy phone sex girl starts off her cuckolds when they are brand spanking new?
So shy they can barely choke out how much they want to eat their own cum, never mind suck on a big black cock?
Not always, lots of black cock cuckolds want to suck that cock when they find out how much I enjoy bbc too, but when I get a really shy little cuckold, to get him started with cuckolding, I give him a taste of his own cum in the sexiest way possible!
How hot is that?
You can tell me anything, admit it, you always wanted to or may even have tried your own cum, haven’t you, cuckold?
Hot and sticky and so taboo for a man to want jizz in his mouth, you probably think you are the only man ever who wanted to taste his own cum, but so many men want to eat their own cum, they just need this curvy blonde cuckold queen to give them a little erotic encouragement!
Can you think of anything that gets you harder than thinking of me, cuckold queen Monica Mandigo, on her knees, big tits out, with a mouth full of your creamy cum, all ready for you to lick and slide your tongue into my jizzy mouth?
And of course, to be my cuckold, we’ll do so much more, and you’ll love every single minute, because there is no one better at cuckolding phonesex than me.
AIM:MonicaMandingo
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By monica | August 18, 2015
Hey there my future cuckold, feeling like a big black cock in your mouth?
I know I sure am!
And the key words there are big and black!
Bigger is definitely better when it comes to so many things, but fucking?
If it’s lees than eight really, why even bother?
Just between us, when you are having some me time, what do you look for when you are watching forced bi porn?
The biggest hardest massive black cock imaginable, yes?
And it’s no secret that the biggest, hardest, best cock is black cock!
Close your eyes, get comfortable, and imagine my sexy voice in your ear as I describe to you just how I am going to make you my forced bi phonesex cuck!
You see, I have lots and lots of experience making strong, masculine men into my cuckolds, after all, when you love big black cock as much as I do, you want everyone else to love it as well!
You, on your knees, my big tits against your back, that superior black cock working its way deep into your throat, inch by hard, throbbing, veiny, ebony inch!
Rough hands replacing my sensually soft female ones grabbing you by the hair, making you inhale that musky smell of black balls full of that mouth watering jizz.
You want to suck cock for me, because you need to please me, and isn’t it amazing just how much we both love big black cock?
I’ll turn you into that good little cocksucker, holding your hand (even if it’s holding them behind your back as you get your mouth fucked) all the way through our forced bi fantasy!
If you like, you can see more of me here:
Call me, I will take your from dildos and strap ons all the way up to the real thing while I watch!
AIM:MonicaMandingo
Topics: , ,
By monica | June 10, 2014
Hey there Sexy, it’s your favorite cuckold queen, back after a long ass vacation filled with sun, sand and mandingo dick!
Just between us, I have to tell you, one of the bonus effects of being a tall curvy blond out with a big black bull is all the surreptitious glances, curious looks, and barely concealed lust thrown in our direction.
I guess fantasizing about a black on blond interracial couple fucking is on everyone’s wish list, yes?
From my own cuckold experiences, interracial fucking is the last taboo, never mind Loving V. Virginia, everyone gets a little thrill fantasizing about watching or even participating in interracial cuckolding.
Is being cuckolded by your big titty blond girlfriend with a big black cock one of the secret fantasies that you rub one out to when you’re all alone?
A secret black on blond fetish that you can’t share with anyone else?
Let me make your cuckold fantasies a reality.
There’s no one better at the cuckold fetish than this big blond cuckold queen.
AIM:MonicaMandingo
By Savannah | September 23, 2013
Some of you know that I have real time experience with mandingo cock. In fact, if there is a few men interested in me I will always bet on black. For nothing pleases me more than a big fat black cock. Sure this isnt the first time most of you have heard this. Any woman who has spread her legs for a nigger dick will always say she wants more. Whats really on my mind is making you love those beautiful thick chocolate cocks as much as I do. Well I know you do already. Love hearing how I have fucked them but I want you to be a bit more involved than that.
Yes, I think you know exactly where I am going with this.
For I am all about pushing you.
Forcing you some would say into being a cock sucker.
Yes course your not going to jump into it right away but you will.
How could you really deny me of the pleasure of watching you suck back on those delicious mandingo cocks. Trust me I have sucked back enough to know they taste amazing. It will start out with me forcing you to suck cock but before too long you will be eager to drop to your knees and take that cock like the slut you are.
So really what are you waiting for? Think you are long over due for a forced cock sucking phone sex.
AIM:YIM SavannahDesires
By monica | September 11, 2013
Did that get your attention?
I know exactly what’s on your mind, cuckold.
You’re stroking your cock, looking at my tits, wishing that you had the kind of big black cock that could satisfy me.
But can you handle what’s going through my pretty blond head?
Do you really want to know what I, your curvy cuckold fetish princess, really think of your small white penis?
Compared to that big black cock that I just had in me?
Just between us?
Can you handle hearing me comparing how my pussy is virgin tight after you try to fuck me?
And how good my creamy white pussy aches after getting reamed by a big black cock until my pussy gapes?
The interracial humiliation just keeps on coming, making that little white cock harder, but not bigger.
Face it, lover, white women hooking up with black men just makes sense.
Black cock is bigger, thicker, harder, all the things a big titty white girl like me needs.
And don’t you want me to be happy, lover?
Call me so I can show you just how erotic interracial cuckold humiliation phonesex can be.
AIM:MonicaMandingo
By monica | October 15, 2012
Are you a cuckold?
Do you want to be?
Cuckold training begins before you and I even go out to meet a big black bull.
You watch me, that thick busty body, that high round ass, those legs that go on for days as I smooth body cream all over my naked flesh, making every inch of this blonde cuckold queen as perfect as humanly possible.
And you know that whatever we share, it’s nothing like what I am going to share with the first big black bull I come across.
Why do you put up with this?
Why do you endure anything just to serve this big titty cuckold princess?
You have a need, after being the one making decisions all day long, to submit to your cuckold princess in every way.
And I have a need to turn you into a black cock cuckold.
Let this elite cuckold queen control your cuckold desires.
AIM:MonicaMandingo
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By monica | September 30, 2012
What would you do if you came home to your wife fucking big black cock?
You know you think about it, cuckold.
You want nothing more than to be the source of my sexual desire, and the one to fully satisfy this cuckold phonesex queen, but you know there isn’t anythin you can do to really please me, is there?
You must have known on some level that I was being satisfied elsewhere, but did you ever imagine it was with one of society’s last taboos, that of interracial cuckolding?
And then it happens, and how humiliating is it when you come home to your wife fucking big black cock?
All the emotions that go through your mind, sexual humiliation, inadequacy, jealousy, but also sexual excitement at finally seeing your hot wife satisfied?
It’s ok, cuckold, I have something that will make your cuckold humiliation complete.
I have a surprise just waiting for you in my creampie pussy.
AIM:MonicaMandingo
Topics: , , , ,
By Karen | July 19, 2012
You knew when you married your hot trophy wife that I was a big black cock fucker.
You just never in your wildest cuckold humiliation fantasies imagined just how sexually degrading a cuckold marriage would be.
Did you think I would fuck big black cock behind your back?
Of course I do, but it’s so much more amusing for my cuckold husband to see his hot wife get fucked right in front of you.
Underneath me, watching enviously as my tight white pussy stretched to take that big black cock.
Watching as I do things to satisfy my black bull that this hot wife would never do for you.
Making you stroke that small white penis right next to the big black cock.
Time to fluff that big black cock.
Cuckold Humiliation Phone Sex with a real cuckold wife.
AIM:KarenRidesU
By monica | July 12, 2012
Beautiful women want men for only one of two things, a big black cock or a big wallet.
Want to take a guess which one you fall into, black cock cuckold lover?
Love to be at home, in our bed, while my cuckold lover is so hard at work, making lots of money to make me smile.
And when you come home a little early, looking for your sexy big titty blonde, you hear slurping sounds.
In our bed, there I am, big ass up in the air, big titties bouncing, as I gag on a big black cock!
And as only I can, I smile and turn around to take his black cock, our eyes meeting as he starts to fuck me with that hard black cock.
Ready for more, Lover?
AIM:MonicaMandingo
Topics: , , ,县府办组织观看影片《第一书记》
来源：中国青田网
时间： 11:41
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FG原声大碟Family Guy Live in Las Vegas Disc1(在线版+歌词)收藏
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南派三叔力荐《盗墓笔记》
01 Fanfare & Intro(Drum Roll)Tom Tucker: Good evening
I'm Tom Tucker,Diane Simmons: And I'm Diane Simmons.Tom Tucker: From beautiful downtown Sin City it's Family Guy: Live in Las Vegas.(Fanfare)Tom Tucker: Well, Diane, it is one hell of a night for a show.Diane Simmons: It sure is Tom. I'm very excited.Tom Tucker: You know whenever I'm in Las Vegas I think of that movie Showgirls.Diane Simmons: Really.Tom Tucker: Yeah. And you know what else. Sometimes when I'm sitting alone at home, or in the shower, or where ever I think aboutShowgirls.Diane Simmons: uh-huh.Tom Tucker: And sometimes when I'm driving in my car I think about Elizabeth Berkley and Gina Gershon having girl-on-girl sex, anddoing all kinds of nasty things like spitting on each other and getting high. The point being Diane that Vegas is the kindaplace that stays with you where ever you are.Tom Tucker: And thats just about the highest praise I can give for any town on the map.Diane Simmons: Uh that's, uh that's That's not on the teleprompter.Tom Tucker: No, just some of my thoughts and musings.Diane Simmons: Well, Thank you so much for sharing. And now ladies and gentlemen, with the accompaniment of Walter Muphey and hisorchestra, we present the stars of our show.Diane Simmons: Direct from Quahog, Rhode Island, The Griffins.
Theme From "family Guy"Lois: it seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on T.V.Peter: But where all those good 'ol fashioned values on which we use to rely?Brian: it use to be a big time star, was elegent as Garbo, or Hedy LamarrStewie: But now we get whores like Jenny Lopez, you want to curl up and dieChorus: Lucky there's a Family Guy. Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make us-Stewie: Laugh and cryChorus: He's a Family GuyLouis: When I was young, the songs were fair, with Mister Johnny Mathis, and Sonny and CherPeter: But now we get Justin Timber-homoLouis: A heartache all gone awry!Brian: The classic films were works of art, the images were graceful, the stories were smartStewie: But now we get Matrix Revolution, I'm sorry I know this doesn't rhyme, but what the hell were you Wachowski Brothersthinking?!Chorus: Lucky there's a family guy, lucky there's a fella, sweeter than vanilla, wholesome as a piece of-Stewie: Apple PieChorus: He's a family guyLois: His smile's a simple delightChris: He lets me see the boobies on the internet sitesLois: Peter!Meg: He bought me my cute little hat.Brian: Yeah we should have a talk about that.Chorus: About that! And his hat!Brian: He's mastered the comedy artsStewie: He says, "Look out, Hiroshima!" then casually fartsLois: He's loaded with sexy appeal.Peter: And best of all my titties are real, Have a feel!Brian: No thank youStewie: I gave it the officeLois: The Brady Bunch has got their Mike and pretty Laura Petrie has Dicky Van Dyke. But who around here could fill thoseloafers?Chorus: But here's a happy reply. Lucky there's a family guy. Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the thing thatmake us-Stewie: Laugh and Cry!Chorus: He's a Family Guy! He's a Family Guy!!!Lois: Oh My! Thank you very much! What a welcome.Peter: I am gunna buy each and every one of you a beer after the show. Whoa, whoa, whoa! I’m kidding for Christ’s sake, I’m not serious. That’s expensive! Look, just the fact that I came up with the idea should tell you I’ I shouldn’t actually have to spend any money.Meg: Uh, can we turn the spotlight down a bit?Brian: Yeah, it is a little bright.Stewie: You know Brian, I- I just noticed something. With that light shining on you from that angle, you look a lot like Jamie Farr.Brian: Yeah, you’ve told me that before and uh, it’s interesting, because I’m thinking you look a lot like Britney Spears.
Stewie: Really?! How so?Brian: Well, you- you got that thing going on with your eyes like Britney does. You know where…You know how her eyes are just like a hair too far apart? Uh, a- a- almost like there was some immediate post-birth surgery that should have been done but it was the south, so they didn’t have the medical technology.Stewie: Oh, I see.Chris: Mom!Lois: Yes honey?Chris: I have a wedgie.Lois: Chris, honey, wait until the intermission. Then you can fix it.Peter: Well, we got a lot of fun stuff lined up here tonight. We got music, we got comedy, we got behind the scenes crap from the show.Lois: That’s right! For example, not a lot of people know this, but in one episode of the show there was a flashback of Brian when he was a puppy. Now, they couldn’t find a puppy who looked enough like him, so they actually built a dog suit for the scene, and the actor of inside the suit was Raven-Symoné, who was Olivia on the Cosby show.Brian: Fascinating bit of trivia.Peter: All right, okay, I got one for ya. You know the sound stage where we shoot Family Guy is the same stage where they shot the Golden Girls back in the 80’s, right? Now one of the stage hands was telling me a- a pretty intense story. I guess there was one night when they were all ready to shoot, and uh, the audience was waiting. And uh, nobody could find Bea Arthur. So everybody’s freaking out and uh, then one of the producers runs in and says “Cancel the show tonight. Bea Arthur’s in jail!Lois: Oh My God!Peter: Yeah. Apparently she had a little too much to drink before the show and uh, they found her standing on the street corner, exposing her penis to traffic.Brian: Oh My God!Meg: Ew! That’s Disgusting!Peter: Can you believe that?Brian: Wait a minute. How the hell can Bea Arthur have a penis?Peter: Eh, special permit.Stewie: I say, what is it with these actors? They’re perfectly normal people in civilian life and then they come out to Hollywood and just go f**king berserk.Brian: You gotta watch your language, kid.Stewie: Oh, it’s a record album for God’s sake. Let’s cut loose a bit.Chris: Nipples! Hehe.Stewie: Perfect example. Although I must say I am amazed at the language you can get away with on television these days. I- I was watching Law and Order the other night and I swear to god, I heard someone use the word ‘balls’. And I thought to myself, “My God, that- that Dick Wolf just does whatever he damn well pleases, doesn’t he? Bringing words like ‘balls’ into America’s living rooms. I wonder how he’d like it if I just walked into his living room a- and use the word ‘balls’.Brian: Uh… I think that would be breaking and entering.Lois: You know, I am so glad they allowed us to bring Stewie this evening. The last show we did we had to leave him at home. They didn’t allow babies in the theater.Brian: Well of course. People wanted to be able to enjoy the showStewie: I am a show you lack-witted beetle head! Ugh! Oh what a night that was. My babysitter was a total bitch.Lois: Stewie! That’s very rude. Especially since your babysitter is here tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Hailey Duff.Hailey Duff: Hi Mr. and Mrs. GriffinPeter: How’re ya, sweetheart?Lois: So was it really that bad babysitting Stewie?Hailey Duff: You want the truth? Well, okay. So after you and Peter left for dinner, I- No. Wait a minute. Let’s tell this story right. Chorus please.
03 Babysitting Is A Bum Deal Chorus: Here is the tale of a babysitting job, the baby is something of a snob.Stewie: Oh, go f**k yourselvesChorus: So listen very closely, and you'll find that what they say is not the same as what's on their minds.Haylie: Aren't you a cute little boy. (Look at that melon shaped head!)Stewie: Having you here is a joy. (And in an hour you'll be dead.)Haylie: Sit on my knee. (Please don't go poo.)Stewie: Nice place to be. (This one's for you.)Both: Babysitting is a bum deal.Haylie: Why don't we watch Will & Grace? (Jesus, do I need a smoke.)Stewie: Jack puts a smile on my face. (Oh, what a surprise, a gay joke.)Haylie: I like your house. (The ceiling has cracks!)Stewie: I like your blouse (Miss TJ Maxx?)Both: Babysitting is a bum deal.Chorus: So they sat as time went by.Haylie: As slowly as time could go.Chorus: The baby blared, and softly cursed.Stewie: Cause her lips, and her skirt, and her shoes, and her hair made her look like a hoe!Haylie: Time for your bottle my sweet. (This little brat smells like piss.)Stewie: Always a succulent treat. (While I suck that, you suck this.)Haylie: Aren't you a sight? (Look at him drool.)Stewie: You're a delight. (Damn you, you fool!)Both: Babysitting is a bum deal.Chorus: The diaper change was quite a job.Haylie: The grossest I've ever seen.Chorus: The baby smiled and took a breath.Stewie: And I grunted and pooped out a poop,that looked something like Matthew Modine.Haylie: Someday you might meet a girl. (Yeah, she's gonna be your right hand.)Stewie: Maybe it's you my sweet pearl. (Darling, I'd rather f**k sand.)Haylie: Have a good night. (You little creep.)Stewie: Have a good night. (Die in your sleep.)Both: Babysitting is a bum deal. Babysitting is a bum deal.Hailey Duff: So you see, you got a really messed up kid here. I’d suggest you get him some help before it’s too late.Stewie: Gutter Snipe!Hailey Duff: Freak! I’m out of here.Lois: Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Hailey Duff.Brian: Well, nobody likes a bum deal. You know what I’m talking about. The feeling when you get passed over for that promotion you thought you deserved or when you found out that your old high school girlfriend who you never got quite over is about to marry someone else. Or when you’re humping a leg for 8 minutes before you realize there’s no entry point. But you know what? You and I have both got a friend who’s always there to lift our spirit.
04 Dear Booze Brian: And I’d like to sing a song of gratitude to that special chum.When I have a heart that's heavy,Feeling I was born to lose,You are there to say that life's okay,Thank you for it all, dear booze.When a chilly wind is blowing,Telling me to sing the blues,You begin to show your soothing glow,Thank you for it all, dear booze.Drifting, flying, on a cloud of whiskey dreams...No more sighing, eyes alight with moonshine beams.When a love is unrequited,When she brushes off my woos,You are there to mend, my fluid friend,Thank you for it all, dear booze.Drifting, flying, on a cloud of whiskey dreams...No more sighing, eyes alight with moonshine beams.When a love is unrequited,When she brushes off my woos,You are there to mend, my fluid friend,Thank you for it all, dear booze.Thank you for it all, dear booze…Quagmire: Look honey, there’s no guarantees with the Q-Man. He marches to his own beat.Patty LuPone: I can’t believe you still won’t admit you were a jerk!Peter: Hey everybody! It’s Glen Quagmire and Patty LuPone.Lois: What’s the matter with you two?Quagmire: Oh she’s not gunna play out of proportion, LoisPatty LuPone: Hardly. You know not a lot of people are aware of this, but back before I got married, I met this scumbag Quagmire in a bar. He asked me out, and for some reason, I said “Yes.”Quagmire: Jackpot! Heh, heh, heh, alright!Patty LuPone: Well, we’ve been dating for quite sometime and then one night I caught him in bed with a stewardess!Quagmire: They prefer the term, “Flight Attendant”. Well, well actually, this one preferred the term, “Dick Slave,” but go on!Patty LuPone: I never felt so used in my life. I mean for all I knew this tramp could have been 1 of 50.Quagmire: No, no. There were only two others. One was 17, so that doesn’t count. An- and the other one was a Real Doll so that doesn’t count either!Patty LuPone: I could strangle you right now. After all these years, you still can’t admit you treated me like shit!!Quagmire: Hey honey, it’s your fault for trusting me in the first place. And let me put it to you like this!
The 'Q' Man Loves NobodyQuagmire: Baby you were crazy if ya thoughtI loved ya 'cause the 'Q' man loves nobody but himself.Patti Lupone: I never knew how twisted a fella could be.Quagmire: Hey I guess it's good I never told ya I'm into pee!PL: Don't you ever listen to your inner conscienceQ: (spoken) Oh, I'm sorry babe, I wasn't listenin'. What?PL: You really are a total scum.If only you could see the man that you've become!Q: Baby you were crazy if ya thought I loved ya'Cause the 'Q' man loves nobody!PL: You really love nobody?Q: And boy I mean nobody!PL: And boy you mean nobody!Q: But my own sweet flippin' self!(spoken) All right, whatever your problem is, just get it off your breast. Chest.PL: I thought you gave me your heart.Q: (spoken) I gave you VD, isn't that enough?PL: You said that we'd never part.Q: (spoken) Oh I was just kiddin'!PL: You gave me your lover's vow!Q: Ha! If you really thought I meant it you ought to get your head examined right now!PL: You'd tell me you'd never stray!Q: (spoken) Well, that's 'cause we hadn't had sex yet!PL: And then you just walked away.Q: (spoken) Ain't I a stinker!PL: Your attitude really stank!Q: Look! You don't need to be a genius to see that I was givin' you the yank yank!PL: (spoken) What else did you BS me about?Q: (spoken) Well, since you asked…(sung) Remember when I said that I was goin' down the blockto grab a couple boozers with a pal?PL: Yeah. You had a friend from college that you had to meet.Q: Nah. I was at the women's shoe store lookin' at feet! (What?)'Member when I said I had a dental checkup.Well let me say I give quite a root canal. Oh right!PL: You promised me that you'd be true!Q: Hey! To me you're just vagina number 602.Baby you were crazy if ya thought I loved ya'Cause the 'Q' man loves nobody!PL: You really love nobody?Q: And boy I mean nobody!PL: And boy you mean nobody!Q: But my ownBoth: sweet flippin' self!PL: (spoken) What do you have to say for yourself, you slime?Q: (spoken) Can I just sqeeze your left tit, a little bit?PL: (spoken) You're the most insensitive man I've ever metQ: (spoken) Oh, that's not true. I've got feelings same as the next guy.Why, last week, my grandma died, I was really upset.PL: (spoken) Oh, I'm sorry.Q: (spoken) So how 'bout a hand job?'Cause the 'Q' man loves nobody!PL: You really love nobody?Q: And boy I mean nobody!PL: And boy you mean nobody!Q: But my ownBoth: sweet flippin' self!Q: (spoken) C'mon, honey, I'll make it up to you.I'll buy you some lingerie. Giggity-giggity-giggity-giggity!Stewie: What a delightful couple.Chris: She’s got boobies!Lois: Yes, she does, Chris, but we don’t use that word in public.Chris: She’s got....teats!Lois: We don’t say that either.Chris: Well, what the heck am I supposed to say?Lois: I would just not bring it up at all.Meg: God, Chris, you’re such an idiot!Stewie: Well, my dear, you’re not exactly the cream of the crop yourself, you know. And, by the way, when was the last time you had a date?Meg: …I have one tonight.Stewie: Really? Well, for your sake, I hope it’s with Jack LaLanne. Ha! Brian, Brian.Brian: Huh?Stewie: Oh, dude, I had my hand up for a high five, and you totally freaking dissed me.Brian: Oh, sorry, you, uh, wanna try again?Stewie: Yes.Brian: Uh, ok, one, two, three.{smack}Peter: Ow, my eye!Brian: Oh, sorry, I haven’t high fived anyone in about six years. Well, you folks out there have probably wondered if we ever hang out with other cartoon characters in our spare time. Well, we try to avoid it, because frankly, they’re a pretty assholic bunch.Peter: Yeah, I mean listen to what happened last week...
All Cartoons are f**kin' DicksOn Monday, I had drinks with Barney RubbleWe hit a couple divvy little barsWe noticed there was quite a lovely ladySittin' at the table next to oursNow Barney, who was pretty friggin' wastedGot up and stumbled over with a groanHe said, "Hey, just between us, my Neanderthalic penisIs as massive as a Stegosaurus bone!”All cartoons are f**kin' dicksThey get their kicks from being pricksIt's a quirk, we just can't fix'Cause all cartoons are f**kin' dicks“Did Barney really say that?”“Oh, yeah! He is a bastard”“Wow!”“And he, and he really does not give a damnAbout the feelings of women!And it's sad! It's really sad”“Well you think that's bad, listen to this”One day I met an ape of great charismaMagilla the Gorilla was his nameHe wore a little hat and matching bow tieA fashion which has brought him great acclaimI said, "What do you see as your career-peak?Of all your many flashy escapades”He said, "Well this is funky, but you're lookin' at the monkeyWho’s responsible for bringing you the AIDS“All cartoons are f**kin' dicksThey get their kicks from being pricksIt's a quirk, we just can't fix'Cause all cartoons are f**kin' dicks“So he’s the cold prick?”“I say that is just awful!”“Okay, okay! Listen to this little gem"I had a conversation at a partyWith famous Rabbit Hunter Elmer FuddHe told me I just had to see his rifleAnd dropped it on the table with a thudI said to him, “It’s quite a lovely firearm”He told me his fiancé likes it tooHe said, “This maybe corny but it really gets me hornyWhen I press it to her temple while we screw!”All cartoons are f**kin' dicksThey get their kicks from being pricksIt's a quirk, we just can't fix'Cause all cartoons are f**kin' dicks“Aw, God! That is one shit bastard!”“Eww, you’re not kidding?”“Yeah, that, that kinda’ stuff’s against the law too, I think”“Well, I got one that’s even worse than that”On Friday night I went to get some candySome soda and some chips and other stuffAlong the way I passed a little alleyAnd there I saw that K-9 called McGruffI said to him, “Hey! You’re that famous crime dog!”He said, “I only work from nine to five!And now it’s close to tennish and I got a job to finish‘Cause as you can see this hooker’s still alive!”All cartoons are f**kin' dicksThey get their kicks from being pricksIt's a quirk, we just can't fix'Cause all cartoons are f**kin' dicks
“That’s awful!”“Uh! Imagine McGruff beating up hookers!”“He is a dick, he is a dick!”“Yes, yes! He’s a nasty cartoon, but I can top thatListen to this!”One day as I was strolling through the forestI happened on some mushroom covered turfAnd there from underneath a patro-fungusEmerged the one and only Papa SmurfHe said, “This is our secret mushroom village!”I said, “Then I’m the first to see these views?”He said, “I’m only kidding‘Cause we only keep it hidden from the AsiansAdams, Faggots, Blacks and Jews!”All cartoons are f**kin' dicksThey get their kicks from being pricksIt's a quirk, we just can't fix'Cause all cartoons are f**kin' dicks“That Papa Smurf sounds like a monster!”“Oh, he’s a dirty, nasty racist and a bigot and homophobeAnd you know what I did when I got home?”“What?”“I called up Gargamel and I told him where the village is!”“That’s sweet"“Can I go next?”“Of course, sweetie!”“One day I met a”“Holy crap! Look who’s here, it’s Jason Alexander!”“Hey, Cartoon-haters!”“But, but I was supposed to go next!”“Quiet, honey! Mr. Alexander wants to talk!”“I couldn't help overhearing what you were talking about and I agreeCartoons are real f**kin' assholes!”“Yeah, that’s sorta what we’ve been trying to communicate”“Well, get a load of this!”“He said load!”“I know! I heard!”I once met Scooby-Doo at a premiere bashHe looked a little haggard and he stunkHe said, “The trouble started last DecemberWhen Daphne made a pass while she was drunk”And now he’s got a child out of wedlockIt’s dealing his career a fatal blowI asked him, “Where’s the baby?”He said, “Jason, buddy, maybe now you seeWhy f**kin’ Scrappy’s gotta go!”All cartoons are f**kin' dicksThey get their kicks from being pricksIt's a quirk, we just can't fix'Cause all cartoons are f**kin' dicks“Wow, Scrappy is the bastard child of Scooby and Daphne?”“Shocking, isn’t it?”“Yeah! Hey, you douche bags wanna wrap this up?”So let us leave you now with one suggestionA bit of wisdom you can take for freeThe Mickeys and the Goofys and the DaffysAre not the gentle souls they seem to beSo anytime Sylvester catches TweetyOr Tom has got poor Jerry in a fixHe’s in a fix! Sit back and just observe it‘Cause the little shits deserve itFor all cartoons are f**kin' dicks“So! When do we get to the 'off-color' part of the album?”
07 The Last Time I Saw ParisBrian: So if you would recall with me now one of those warm evenings in the city of love. Paris is everybody's mistress. Every man has his own secret memories of Paris.The last time I saw Paris, her heart was warm and gayBackground singers: I heard the laughter of her heart in every street café.Brian: Hey Gar?on!Gar?on: Oui, Monsieur?Brian: Tell me, have you seen a girl?Gar?on: A girl? What kind of girl?Brian: Any kind. My boat leaves tomorrow. Say, do you think that girl sitting over there would be offended if I said hello?Gar?on: Hahaha. Monsieur, she has winked at you. She has dropped her handkerchief, and right now, she is smiling at you. What does that usually mean to you, eh?Brian: She’s a cop. The last time I saw Paris, her trees were dressed for spring.Background Singers: And lovers walked beneath the trees, and birds found songs to singFrench Girl: Brian, I enjoyed having dinner with you.Brian: Oh, I enjoyed being with youFrench Girl: Oh, it was delicious! The champagne, the duckling, the cap-shu-zets, the brandy.Brian: It was nice. Oh, by the way, here's my half of the check. Say, you're quite a doll. Do you have a husband?French Girl: Mais non.Brian: Engaged?French Girl: Mais non.Brian: Boyfriend?French Girl: Mais non!Brian: I don’t know who this guy Meno is, but he must be a powerhouse.French Girl: Brian, I'm afraid I must go home.Brian: Ah, but it's early. We've got a world of time.French Girl: Oh, but I must.Brian: C'mon, this is our night. Let's give your mom and dad a chance to go to sleep.French Girl: That's just it. I live alone, and there's no one to feed the parakeet.Brian: Alone? Well, hey, let's hurry home and cram that little bastard full of birdseed! Taxi!French Girl:And he's found songs to singI dodged the same old taxicabs that I had dodged for years. The echo of their squeaky horns was music to my ears.Phew. How much further up is your apartment?French Girl: Only six more flights.
南派三叔力荐《盗墓笔记》
But Then I Met YouPeter: I used to get awfully moodyWhen dating a fair-skinned cutie.'Cause every red hot beautyTurned out to be bitchy inside.Like somethin' had crawled right up her ass and died.But then I met you.My troubles were through.I whispered I doAnd promised I'd stay in love with you.The day I met youYou know that I knewYou'd be a great screw.Thank God I met you.Lois: With parents so agitatingMy way of retaliatingWas one little rule of datingGive mommy and daddy a fright. I slept with a different black guy every night.Keep mommy and daddy in shock. One woman can only take so much black cock.But then I met you.My troubles were through.I whispered I doAnd promised I'd stay in love with you.The day I met youYou know that I knewMy world was brand new.Thank God I met you.Peter and Lois:KnowingOur happiness is always growingIs all I need to keep me knowingLois: Your smile has me deep in a trancePeter: I'm all about romance.{Trumpet player showing off}Peter: f**kin' show off.Lois: We hoped it would last, but could it?We hoped it would grow, but would it?Peter: I gave you my love and put itAll over your face and your hair.Peter and Lois: I never imagined I could walk on air.But then I met you.My troubles were through.I whispered I doAnd promised I'd stay in love with you.The day I met youYou know that I knewMy world was brand new.Thank God I met you.{In whisper} Thank God I met you.Thank God I met you!{Applause}Brian: You know on Family Guy, we love poking fun at our favorite TV shows from the 1980s. So at this time Stewie and I would like to do a little swing medley featuring some TV tunes you just might recognize. Hit it Walter!
09 T.V. Medley- Diff'rent Strokes Theme Song-Growing Pains-Charles inStewie: Now the world don't move&&&&&&&
To the beat of just one drum. &&&&&&&
What might be right for you. &&&&&&&
May not be right for some. Brian: A man is born,&&&&&&&
He's a man of means. &&&&&&&
Then along come two. &&&&&&&
They've got nothing but their jeans. Stewie: But Brian, They've got Different Strokes&&&&&&&
It takes Different Strokes &&&&&&&
It takes Different Strokes to move the world. Brian: That's true, but you know, Stewie,&&&&&&&
Everybody's got a special kind of story Stewie: Everybody finds a way to shine.Brian: But no matter that you got not a lot.Stewie: So what?Brian: They'll have theirs and you'll have yours and I'll have mine.Brian and Stewie: And together we'll be fine.Stewie: 'Cause it takes Different Strokes to move the world.Brian: Yes it does.Stewie: It takes Different Strokes to move the world.{Applause}Stewie: Hey, hey, why the frown, Brian?Brian: Ah, I finished my drink.Stewie: Oh, no.Brian: Yeah it's empty, that always gets me depressed.Stewie: Oh come on, Brian, why don't you&&&&&&&
Show me that smile again Brian: Oh, I don't know.Stewie: Don't waste another minute on your crying.Brian: Mmm...Stewie: We're nowhere near the end.Brian: That sucks.Stewie: The best is ready to begin. Ooo-ooo-ooo-oooh!Brian: As long as we got each otherStewie: Right you are.Brian: We got the world spinning right in our hands.&&&&&&&
Baby you and me Stewie: We've got to be...Brian and Stewie: The luckiest dreamers who never quit dreamin'.&&&&&&&
As long as we keep on giving. Stewie: We can take any crap that comes our way.Brian: Baby rain or shineStewie: All the timeBrian and Stewie: We got each other&&&&&&&
Sharin' the laughter &&&&&&&
And love. {Applause}Stewie: I say, Brian.Brian: Huh?Stewie: Who's that over there?Brian: Where?
Stewie: There!Brian: Why Stewie, that's&&&&&&&
The new boy in the neighborhood &&&&&&&
Lives downstairs and it's- Stewie: I know it's understood. He's there just to take good care of me&&&&&&&
Like he's one of the family. Brian: Charles in Charge of our days and our nights.Stewie: Yes indeed it's&&&&&&&
Charles in Charge of our wrongs and our rights. Brian: I have a feeling the wrongs are gonna cause more trouble than the rights.Stewie: Look out, Sitcom Land - there's a new shipment of funny on it's way!Brian and Stewie: And I say I want Charles in Charge of me.{Applause}Stewie: You know, I'm gonna take things down a notch here. Brian, do you remember when we did our first musical number from "Road to Rhode Island"?Brian: I sure do. God, we were so young then.Stewie: Yes, I mean not that we've aged all that much. I mean Jesus, I've been one year old for five years. And my point is this:&&&&&&&
Here we are, face to face &&&&&&&
A couple of Silver Spoons Brian: We're hoping to find&&&&&&&
We're two of a kind &&&&&&&
Makin' it go, making it grow together &&&&&&&
We're gonna find our way. Stewie: You and I together&&&&&&&
Taking the time each day. Brian: You know Stewie, that's time well spent.&&&&&&&
To learn all about those things you just can't buy. Brian and Stewie: Two Silver Spoons together.Brian: Together, we're gonna find our way.&&&&&&&
Together, we're gonna find our way. Brian and Stewie: You and I together.{Applause}Stewie: Oh, you know, this is fun. I say we do a few more of these.Brian: You say? Hey now, who's the boss around here?Stewie: Who's the Boss, indeed.Brian: Good segue.&&&&&&&
There's a time for love and a time for living. &&&&&&&
So take a chance and face the wind. Stewie: An open road and a road that's hidden.&&&&&&&
A brand new life around the bend. Brian: There were timesStewie: Oh yeah.Brian: I've lost a dream or two.&&&&&&&
Found the trail Stewie: Sing it, you f**k.Brian: And at the end was you.&&&&&&&
There's a path you take and a path not taken. &&&&&&&
The choice is up to you, my friend. &&&&&&&
The nights are long
Stewie: Ah, but you might awaken to a brand new life.Brian: Brand new life.Brian and Stewie: Brand new life around the bend.{Applause}Stewie: Gosh, you know, we sound so bloody good together.Brian: Well, that's because we know each other so well.Stewie: Oh, I suppose you're right. Good lord, just think how atrocious we'd sound if we were "Perfect Strangers."Brian: Sometimes the world looks perfect.&&&&&&&
Nothing to rearrange. Stewie: Sometimes you just get a feeling&&&&&&&
Like you need some kind of change Brian: No matter what the odds are this time,&&&&&&&
Nothing's gonna stand in my way. Stewie: This flame in my heart and a long lost friendBrian and Stewie: Gives every dark street a light to the end&&&&&&&
Standing tall Brian: On the wings of my dreams.Brian and Stewie: Rise and fallStewie: On the wings on my dreams.Brian: Through rain and thunder and hail and haze&&&&&&&
I'm bound for better days. Stewie: Ahh.Brian: It's my life and my dream.Stewie: Nothing's gonna stop me now.{Applause}Stewie: I say, was I alright on that last note?Brian: {Balki impersonation} Well of course you were, don't be ridiculous. {speaking normally} You know Stewie, I sometimes think about what it'll be like when we're old and gray.Stewie: Hm, well for you that'll be in about five years.Brian: Thank you for reminding me. But you know, even if my hair falls out or I lose my teeth or I'm in constant pain because colon blockage has made me unable to evacuate my bowels-Stewie: I-I-I get it, I get it, go on.Brian: Well when I'm in my golden years, I'll always look back on our association with fondness. I guess what I'm trying to say is&&&&&&&
Thank you for being a friend. Stewie: Don't mention it.Brian: Traveled down the road and back again.&&&&&&&
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidante. Stewie: Brian, I appreciate that.&&&&&&&
And if you threw a party &&&&&&&
And invited everyone you knew &&&&&&&
You would see the biggest gift would be from me. &&&&&&&
And if the box is ticking, it's probably just a clock. &&&&&&&
And the card attached would say Brian and Stewie: Thank you for being a friend.{Applause}Stewie: You know why we're so close, Brian?Brian: Why's that?Stewie: Family Ties.Brian: I bet we've been together&&&&&&&
For a million years. Stewie: And I bet we'll be together&&&&&&&
For a million more. Brian: Ooh, it's like I started breathing&&&&&&&
On the night we uh, shook hands. Stewie: Shook hands, right.Brian and Stewie: And I can't remember what I ever did before.&&&&&&&
What would we do baby, without us? &&&&&&&
What would we do baby, without us? Brian: And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.Brian and Stewie: What would we do baby, without us?&&&&&&&
Sha-la-la-la {Applause}Man in audience: I love you, Stewie!Stewie: Good.Meg: Ew, Mom, look at Chris.Lois: What is it, honey?Meg: He's sweating like a pig!Chris: Shut up, Meg, it's hot in here!Lois: Meg, your brother's going through a very normal stage in the life of a teenage boy. His body's changing and sometimes it does some very strange things.Chris: Mom, make it stop!Lois: Chris, honey, there's nothing Mommy can do except smile and shake her head like the mommies in the Sunny Delight commercials.Chris: Oh no, I'm screwed!
10 Puberty's Gonna Get MeChris: Puberty's gonna get me.No way to stop it now.I offer a plea, just let me be.But puberty says "No how."I'm just a ball of pimples and zitsI'm feeling funny inside.Puberty's gonna get meAnd there's nowhere to run or to hide.Two years ago while my skin was clearNothin's the same as it used to be.Now that I'm growin' I'm watchin' FOX'Cause I'm too old to watch ABC.In my pants there's lot of hairGrowing as if to spite me.My scrotum looks just like a werewolf.I'm scared that it might try to bite me.Ohhhhhh........Puberty's gonna get meThere's nothin' I can do.There's no one to blame for all my shameAnd no one that I can sue.After I turn from twelve to thirteenOh, how I wish I had died.Puberty's gonna get meAnd there's nowhere to run or to hide.When I was younger I hated girls.They were too gooshy and soft and cute.Now when I see one my legs get weakAnd my wang makes a Hitler salute.Once I used to like Sheryl CrowShe was talented and plucky.But now that I'm older and wiserI see that she's just really lucky.Ohhhhhh........Puberty's gonna get me.I'm just completely screwed.I beg and I say, "Please go awayAnd bother some other dude."Everyone says, "Hey, don't be a spazJust try to take it in stride."Puberty's gonna get meI can feel it deep down inside.I'm covered with fuzzAnd I'm crying becauseThere's nowhere to run.{Applause}Lois: By the way Peter, do you know what next Friday is?Peter: Uh, yeah, it's a movie with, uh, Ice Cube and that other guy who looks like Rudy from Fat Albert.Lois: No, I mean a week from this Friday. Do you know what it is?Peter: Uh...Donald Rumsfeld takes his annual crap?Lois: No, I mean it is that too, but it's something else.Peter: Um, Rosh Ha-Sha-Na-Na? You know when all the Jewish people get together and put on a variety show? HeheheheheheheheLois: No, Peter, it's our anniversary!Peter: Oh yeah?! Oh, see? This is why I need a Palm Pilot.Lois: You forgot again, didn't you?Peter: Maybe. Oh, hey, uh, Lois, you got somethin' in your ear there. Heh, what da, wuh - What is this?Lois: {gasps} Peter, you got me a ring! Oh, it's beautiful.Peter: Eh, it's nothin'. I mean they charged me up the ass for it - I had to sell my Richard Marx record collection of my 7th Heaven blooper reel where Stephen Collins says "Jesus Christ, I just stubbed my Goddamn toe." Boy, did the WB try to keep that one under wraps!Lois: Oh...
11 But I'm YoursLois: ...Well I think you are the sweetest man in the whole world.Peter: Well this guy ain't going anywhere Lois. Hey let me tell you something. I know I haven't always been the perfect spouse.Lois: You do OK.Peter: I drink too much and leave the cans around the house.Lois: Well you do do that.Peter: And once I cleaned up Stewie's doody with your blouse.Lois: What?!Peter: I may be thoughtless.Lois: No you're not.Peter: I may be sloppyLois: Well, a littlePeter: I may be stupid.Lois: Well, a lot.Peter: But I'm yoursLois: You're figure isn't always what it ought to be.Peter: Eh, I gotta lose five pounds.Lois: But rollie-pollie belly's never bothered me.Peter: Thank you.Lois: Or that you scream for hours when you hurt your knee.Peter: (Breathes in) Ahh(breathes out). {Just like he did when he fell after finding the pawtucket scroll}.Peter: I may be chubby.L Well, 296.Peter: I may be lazy.Lois: sorry, 298.Peter: I may be clumsyLois: Only oftenP But I'm yoursLois: What if one day a rapist attacked me?Peter: i would use him to mop up the street.Lois: You would?Peter: You bet. I got a left hook.Lois: What if he was big?Peter: I got a right hookLois: What if he was a woman?Peter: I got a camera, freaking sweet.Peter/Lois: I/You may be brainless.Peter/Lois: I/You may be witless.Peter: I may be Irish.Peter:But I'm yours.Lois: And would you wash the dishes if I asked you to?That kind of thing is every woman's dream come true.Peter: I'll do 'em when this very special Coach is through.Lois: Will you empty the trash?Peter: I got a backache.Lois: Will you fix the toilet?Peter: I got a headache.Lois: Will you vacuum the den?Peter: I got a pinisLois: You're a sexist.Peter: But I'm yours.Lois: They say a man should treat his lady like a prize.A goddess Greek to worship with adoring eyes.Peter: But I won't do that Greeky thing of humpin' guys.Peter: I may be phobicI may be stinkyI may be farting {farts}But I'm yours.Lois: Would you brave any hurdle to save me?Peter: I would slay any foes by the scores.Lois: Lions?Peter: I got a shotgun.Lois: Tigers?Peter: I got a blowtorch.Lois: The Christian right?Peter: I got a qorno.Lois: That'll do it.Peter: 'Cause I'm yours.Peter/Lois: I/You may be dopey.Peter/Lois: I/You may be messy.Peter/Lois: I may be Peter.Peter/Lois: And I'm yours.{Applause}Brian: Hey, you smell something?Stewie: Oh, dear.Brian: What?Stewie: Oh, dear.Brian: What's the matter?Stewie: Oh you're not going to like this.Brian: What?Stewie: I just made a doody.Brian: Oh, G0d.Stewie: I'm sorry, it just slipped out unannounced.Brian: What do you mean "unannounced"?Stewie: Well, normally the doody schedules an exit interview before it departs, but this one seems to have no regard for protocol.Brian: Do you need a change?Stewie: No no, it's alright. Op, there's another one.Brian: Christ, let's hurry up and get to the next number. Here's a favorite of mine by the great Antonio Carlos Jobim.
Slightly Out of Tune (Desafinado)Brian: When I try to sing, you say I'm off-key.Why can't you see how much this hurts me.With your perfect beauty and your perfect pitch.You're a perfect angel.When I come around, must you always put me down.If you say my singing is off-key, my love.You will hurt my feelings, don't you see, my love.I wish I had an ear like yours, a voice that would behave.All I have is feeling and a voice God gave.You insist my music goes against the rules.Yes, but rules were never made for lovesick fools.I wrote this little song for you, but you don't care.It's a crooked song, ah, but all my heart is there.The thing that you would see if you would do your part.Is even if I'm out of tune, I have a gentle heart.I took your picture with my trusty Rolleiflex.And now all I have developed is a complex.Possibly in vain, I hope you weaken, oh my love.And forget those rigid rules that undermine my dream of.A life of love and music with someone who'll understand.That even though I may be out of tune,When I attempt to say how much I love you.All that matters is the message that I bringWhich is my dear one I love you.{Applause}Lois: Oh, that was lovely, Brian.Brian: Oh, great. Thanks.Was it... uh... was it lovely enough for you to-Lois: No, I will not make out with you.Brian: Got it. Won't ask again.Herbert: Well, hey there, muscley-arm.Chris: Oh, hi, Mr. HerbertLois: Oh, Herbert... How nice to see you.Herbert: I ain't talkin' to you, hussy.Hey, Chris. Brought you some candy corns.Chris: Wow, thanks.Herbert: You know, when you walk by my house everyday on your way to catch the school bus, it just makes me wanna sing. So I'm gonna sing you a little song, Chris.Chris: Cool!
13 One Boy Herbert: One boy, one special boy&&&&&&&
One boy to go with, to talk with, and walk with &&&&&&&
One boy, that's the way it should be &&&&&&&
That's the way it should be. &&&&&&&
One boy, one certain boy &&&&&&&
One boy to laugh with, to joke with, have coke with &&&&&&&
One boy, not two or three &&&&&&&
One day, you'll find out &&&&&&&
This is what life is all about &&&&&&&
You'll need someone who &&&&&&&
Is living just for you. &&&&&&&
One boy, one steady boy. &&&&&&&
One boy to be with forever and ever. &&&&&&&
One boy, that's the way it should be. {Applause}Lois: My, what a charming old man. Well, we've got time for one more number. And this one's about a place that's very near and dear to all our hearts. Walter, if you please.
14 Quahog HolidayLois:
There's a little town that's sweet and cozy. &&&&&&&&
If you need a place to get away.
Every street is clean and every face is rosy.
And every teenage girl goes all the way. Brian:
And just as Spring is springy, Autumn's autumny. Peter:
And everybody laughs when I say sodomy. {Audience, Peter, and Stewie laugh}Stewie: "Sodomy" is a funny word.Lois: And they say Family Guy is smart comedy.Peter: Hehehehehehehe, yeah right. Frickin' douche bags. What the hell do they know?&&&&&&&&
Come and take a holiday in Quahog.
Come and take a Quahog holiday!
They make corndogs at the grocery store. Stewie:
And last week we shipped out all the poor. Brian:
I get wasted every single evening. &&&&&&&&
D.U.I. means Drink Up If you please.
They serve booze at Sunday mass after you pray. Stewie:
It's a gas, I dare say. Brian:
Hop a jet plane straightaway. Chorus:
And take a Quahog holiday! Brian: Peter, they don't serve booze at S that's communion wine.Peter: Well, whatever it is, that jackass reverend wouldn't refill my mug last week. I said to him, "Listen, buddy, if I'm not wasted by the time we get to the last hymn, it's gonna be a personal slight to Jesus."Brian: What happened?Peter: They escorted me out.Lois: You know, folks, Quahog really is a wonderful town. There's so much to do. You can have a picnic on the village green, spend a day at the beach.Meg: Go to the mall!Peter: Or just hang around and shoot the shit.Brian: Or, if you're dyslexic, toosh the tish.Stewie: Oh, that's wonderful, Brian, make fun of learning disabilities. You know, sometimes, I have no idea who the deuce you are.Peter: Hey, it's Cleveland and Quagmire!Quagmire: Hey, can we jump in for a verse?Peter: Yeah, knock yourselves out, fellas.Quagmire: Heh, heh, heh, all right.Both:
Come and take a holiday in Quahog. Chorus:
And we mean every single day. Both:
Come and take a Quahog holiday! Chorus:
Oh yes, a happy holiday. Quagmire:
We drink just like fish when we go out. Cleveland:
Even though it gives me nasty gout. Quagmire:
It's a town a single guy can thrive in. Cleveland:
Till his pubic hair is old and grey!
Gig, gig, giggity, gig, gig, giggity, gay, giggity, giggity, gig, gig, giggity, gig gayBoth:
It's a party every day. &&&&&&&&
So take a Quahog holiday!
Chris: Hey, look, everybody, it's Mayor Adam West!Adam West: Hello everyone! I was in the neighborhood and I heard singing. Any time I hear singing, I have to join in.&&&&&&&&&&&&
Come and take a holiday in Quahog.
&&&&&&&&&&&&
Come and take a Quahog holiday.
&&&&&&&&&&&&
Sure, the local crooks may never rest,
&&&&&&&&&&&&
But they don't dare screw with Adam West!
Every day you're cleaning up our city. Adam West:
Everything from crime to tooth decay! &&&&&&&&&&&&
I'll teach any thug that crime won't ever pay.
&&&&&&&&&&&&
Then I'll lock them away and I call it a day
&&&&&&&&&&&&
And take a Quahog holiday!
Chris: When I grow up, I want to be just like you, Mr. West.Adam West: Well, thank you son. However, I should warn you that if you succeed in becoming exactly like me all the way down to the molecular level, it could upset the material constant of the universe. In which case I'd have to destroy you to ensure the physical integrity of the fabric of space and time.Chris: I think my brain just peed itself.Brian: All right, what do you say we wrap this thing up, folks?Brian and Stewie:
Come and take a holiday in Quahog! &&&&&&&&
Come and take a Quahog holiday.
We think evolution's right as rain. Stewie:
Yes, not like Southern folks who've gone insane! Lois:
We've got every color and religion. Peter:
Noone beats you silly if you're gay! Lois':
If you feel your crazy life slippin' away. &&&&&&&&
Pack your bags and don't delay!
And come join us here today! Peter, Brian, and Stewie:
And take a Quahog holiday. Chorus:
And take a Quahog holiday! Holiday!
15 Bow MusicLois: Well, folks. That's our show. We wanna thank you all so much for coming.Stewie: And don't forget to come see me on Broadway. I'll be starring in a new production of Annie Get Your Gun, which is getting a contemporary Broadway makeover. It's going to be called Annie Get Your Diaphragm. We're going to do it right here on the stove.Peter: Good night, everybody.
发完收工，找敏感词还真麻烦
楼主辛苦了巨鲸音乐网也有，可下载
so nice有视频就更爽了
dear booze里面quagmire说了一句：Oh she’s not gunna play out of proportion, Lois请问怎么理解？或者说具体怎么翻译？
Lois嫌她来吵架破坏了这场秀 Q 就说她不会太乱来的
是啊，楼主辛苦我有一次发帖也是找的很辛苦，最后发现the culprit is "可卡因"
谢谢楼主啦，楼主辛苦啦~
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