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/etc/nginx/nginx.conf.TED and The Huffington Post are excited to bring you TEDWeekends, a curated weekend program that introduces a powerful "idea worth spreading" every Friday, anchored in an exceptional TEDTalk. This week's TEDTalk is accompanied by an original blog post from the featured speaker, along with new op-eds, thoughts and responses from the HuffPost community. Watch the talk above, read the blog post and tell us your thoughts below. Become part of the conversation!
__________________________________________
Thanks to my TEDTalk, over 2 million people have watched me cry. This was the first time I spoke about Joan in public and saying her name triggered a rush of memories -- the day she consoled my teenage angst, a conversation about love in a Detroit cafe, the way she set the table with her earthy placemats, the satisfaction in her voice when she talked about her garden. Her death was sudden.
The Before I Die project in New Orleans. Photo credit: Kristina Kassem.
The Before I Die project was a way for me to make sense of the aftermath. I avoided thinking about death for most of my life, in part because I was taught to avoid it. If you bring up death out of the blue, people will often say "don't go there" or "it's too sad" or "you don't need to think about it until you're older." When Joan died, I couldn't avoid it any longer. I went through a period of grief and depression, then gratitude for the time we had together. I thought about death a lot and found a comfort and clarity I didn't expect. Beyond the tragic truth lies a bright calm that reminds me of my place in the world. The moment becomes more tactile. Things that stress me out are reduced to their small and rightful place. Things that matter to me get big and crisp again. Contemplating death, as Stoics and other philosophers encourage, is a powerful tool to re-appreciate the present and remember what makes your life meaningful to you.
We're all trying to make sense of our lives and there's great comfort in knowing you're not alone. Everyone you're standing with in line and everyone you're sitting by in a cafe and everyone you walk past on the street is going through challenges in their life. Yet it's easy to forget this because we rarely venture beyond small talk with strangers. There are a lot of barriers to opening up.
The Before I Die project on a New Orleans house. Photo credit: Candy Chang.
I started making interactive public art projects on abandoned buildings as a way for my neighbors and I to easily share our memories and hopes for these places. Then they became a canvas to ask more personal questions as my priorities changed. Am I the only one who feels like I'm barely keeping it together? The city historian Lewis Mumford once wrote that the origins of society were not just for physical survival but for "a more valuable and meaningful kind of life." Some of the earliest gathering places were graves and sacred groves. We gathered so we could grieve together and worship together and console one another and be alone together. Our public spaces are our shared spaces and at their greatest they can nourish our well-being and help us make sense of our communities and ourselves. Our public spaces are as profound as we allow them to be.
The Before I Die project in Cordoba, Argentina. Photo credit: Jenny Carden.
Everyone you're standing with in line and everyone you're sitting by in a cafe and everyone you walk past on the street is going through challenges in their life. -- Candy Chang
Since the first Before I Die wall in 2011, over 250 walls have been created in over 15 languages and over 45 countries. Passionate people are building new walls each week and it's been one of the greatest experiences of my life to see this little experiment in New Orleans grow into a global project. I'm excited to honor many of these walls in a book about the project that will come out this November.
Townsville, Australia. Photo credit: Kim Kamo.
Chung Li, Taiwan. Photo credit: Sammy Tsao.
The Before I Die walls are an honest mess of the longing, pain, joy, insecurity, gratitude, fear, and wonder you find in every community. Seeing other people's feelings have encouraged me to explore my own. I've written many things on the wall: to hole up and read books for weeks, to enjoy more cities with the people I love, to write a bedtime story, to revive a ghost town. It took months before I even began to act on some of these things, but once I wrote them down, those ambient urges took root and became firmer in my mind. I'm a distracted, forgetful person with a short attention span. I need constant reminders of the actions that will really nourish me. And I'm grateful to all my neighbors who have helped stir my mind and step back, pause, be quiet, and reflect.
This story appears in the special July 4 issue of our weekly iPad magazine, Huffington, , available Friday, June 28.
Ideas are not set in stone. When exposed to thoughtful people, they morph and adapt into their most potent form. TEDWeekends will highlight some of today's most intriguing ideas and allow them to develop in real time through your voice! Tweet #TEDWeekends to share your perspective or email
to learn about future weekend's ideas to contribute as a writer.
Get top stories and blog posts emailed to me each day. Newsletters may offer personalized content or advertisements.Bucket List Ideas: 101 Things To Do Before You Die
What’s on Your Bucket List? 101 Things To Do Before You Die
“Every man dies – Not every man really lives.” ~ William Ross
“The only people who fear death are those with regrets.” ~ Author Unknown
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A few days ago, I was surfing online when I came across someone’s bucket list. It quickly inspired me to create my own list and write an article about it at the same time.
What’s a Bucket List?
If you haven’t heard about the term “bucket list”, it is a list of all the goals you want to achieve, dreams you want to fulfill and life experiences you desire to experience before you die.
Why Create a Bucket List?
If you don’t live your days by personal
and plans, chances are you spend most of your time caught up in a . Ever feel your days are passing you by without any tangible output to speak of? What did you accomplish in the past 3 months? What are your upcoming goals for the next 3 months? Look at the things you did and the things you’re planning to do next – Do they mean anything to you if you are to die today? Having a bucket list reminds you of what’s really important so you can act on them.
Even if you frequently live by goals or to-do lists, they are probably framed within a certain social context e.g. performance, career, health. A bucket list opens up the context. It’s a forum to set anything and everything you’ve ever wanted to do, whether it’s big, small or random.
It’s just like planning ahead all the highlights you want for YOUR whole life. ? Even though goal setting is already my staple activity, I still found many new things to do while I was writing on my own list. It was an incredibly insightful exercise. What’s more, coming up with my list gave me a whole new layer of enthusiasm knowing what’s in store ahead!
The objective of creating this list isn’t to instill some kind of a race against time or to create aversion toward death. I don’t see our existence to be limited to just our physical years on earth – I don’t see our existence to be limited to just our physical years on earth – our physical lifespan is but a short speck of our existence in the universe.
The whole point of creating your list is to maximize every moment of our existence and live our life to the fullest. It’s a reminder of all the things we want to achieve in our time here, so that instead of pandering our time in pointless activities, we are directing it fully toward what matters to us.
Create Your Bucket List
If you don’t have a bucket list, I highly recommend you to create one. How much will it cost? Zero. How long will it take? Probably 30 minutes to an hour, or more if you get really caught up in the writing. ? What do you stand to gain? Significant clarity and focus on what you want from your life. It’s an invaluable exchange. ?
If you already have your list, take this opportunity to review it. See if there are new items you want to add-on. If so, add them in. Check if all the items listed are still relevant. If not, remove them.
Now, take out your pen and paper or open up a text document. Start writing down what comes to mind as you read these questions:
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What if you were to die tomorrow? What would you wish you could do before you die?
What would you do if you had unlimited time, money and resources?
What have you always wanted to do but have not done yet?
Any countries, places or locations you want to visit?
What are your biggest goals and dreams?
What do you want to see in person?
What achievements do you want to have?
What experiences do you want to have / feel?
Are there any special moments you want to witness?
What activities or skills do you want to learn or try out?
What are the most important things you can ever do?
What would you like to say/do together with other people? People you love? Family? Friends?
Are there any specific people you want to meet in person?
What do you want to achieve in the different areas: Social, Love, Family, Career, Finance, Health (Your weight, Fitness level), Spiritual?
What do you need to do to lead a life of the greatest meaning?
Come up with as many items as you can. The items should be things you have not done yet. Don’t stop until you finish listing at least 101 things! If you find yourself stuck, chances are you are mentally limiting/constraining yourself. Release those shackles – Your bucket list is meant to be a list of everything you want to achieve, do, see, feel and experience in your life. Check out the next section for added inspiration.
101 Things To Do Before You Die
Here are 101 items to consider for your bucket list. ? Look through the list — any item that resonates with you? Take the items that resonate and use them for your own list! For your convenience, I’ve included useful resources (hand-picked by yours truly) to aid you in your bucket-list quest. Note that the list below is a sample list of things you can put for your own list. If you are curious about *my* bucket list, you can find it here: .
1. Travel all around the world
Traveling — it’s the single best activity that exposes you to new cultures, broaden your mind, move out of your comfort zone, allow you to meet new people, and experience the wonders of the world.
I’m a strong advocate of traveling and have in fact traveled widely around the world in the past years. In 2011, I went on a 7-month non-stop trip around Europe and U.S. where I met PE readers from around the world and held PE readers meetup in , , , and . I’ve subsequently been to , India, , , , and
where I held PE reader meetups in all of them (except India).
All in all, I’ve spent about 50% of my time between 2011 to 2013 traveling! I look forward to visiting new places such as South America, Canada, Japan, Korea, and New Zealand moving forward.
How about you? What new countries would you like to visit? Here are some traveling resources:
Travel recommendations:
(Alphabetical Order)
— If you’re planning to visit Holland, here’s my 7-part series from when I visited the country in 2011
Accommodation:
— Low-budget accommodation
— Free accommodation for travelers
2. Learn a new language
Learning a new language is never easy but it’s so satisfying when you are able to converse with someone in a foreign language! I admire people who are multi-lingual — I’m personally fluent in only English and Mandarin while having functional knowledge of Hokkien, Japanese, and Bahasa Indonesia. I hope to learn a few foreign languages — Spanish being one of them — in the future.
Some language resources:
— Website
— Language exchange site
3. Try a profession in a different field
What profession are you in now and how long have you been doing this? Is it time for a change in profession? It’s nice to do something different from what you have been doing, and it doesn’t have to involve quitting your current job — you can always experiment with volunteer work in a field you enjoy or start up a part-time business on the side. It’s all about expanding your horizon and trying something new.
4. Achieve your ideal weight
I used to be a severe binge eater (a story which I’ve shared in
series) and making the commitment to overcome my emotional eating, live healthily, and lose my excess weight has been one of the single best decisions I’ve made in my life.
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Make the commitment to be healthy. What is your ideal weight? Are you at your ideal weight today? What can you do to start being healthy? Some weight loss resources:
(6-part series)
(4-part series)
5. Run a marathon
A marathon is a long-distance race of 42.2 km (26.2 miles) long — definitely not an easy feat that requires training and hard work! Training and completing a marathon will not only develop you in your physical strength and endurance, but also your mental persistence, will, and attitude. Read:
6. Take part in a triathlon
is a “multiple-stage competition involving the completion of 3 continuous and sequential endurance disciplines.” Modern-day triathlons are swim/bike/run events that are done in that order. If you think that a marathon is tough, wait till you try a triathlon — the
consists of 3.86 km (2.4 mi) swim, a 180.25 km (112-mi) bicycle ride and a 42.2 km (26.2-mi) run (that’s a marathon-length race!), raced in that order and without a break!
But don’t run in the opposite direction just yet — there are many triathlons of varying distances that are completely manageable. For example, a sprint triathlon is 750 m / (0.47 mi) / 20 km (12.4 mi) / 5 km while an Olympic triathlon is 1.5 km (0.93 mi) / 40 km (24.8 mi) / 10 km (6.2 mi). One of my readers decided to train for a triathlon as a personal milestone — despite never having done a marathon in her life! She eventually completed the triathlon after a year of training, and was so proud of herself!
Ready to take up the triathlon challenge? ? Read:
— a training resource website
— Triathlon calendar for America
7. Take up a new sport
Sports is a great way to keep fit! Whether you’re an indoor or outdoor person, there is a sport for everyone. Here are some sports to try out:
Technique sports: Archery, Golf, Bowling, Billiard, Skateboarding, Skating, Roller-blading, Ice skating
Racket sports: Squash, Badminton, Tennis, Table tennis
Water sports: Water rafting, Kayaking, Wakeboarding, Sailing, Swimming, Scuba diving, Snorkeling
Group sports: Soccer, Rugby, Baseball, Basketball, Ultimate frisbee
8. Go scuba diving / snorkeling and experience marine life up close
As humans, we spend all of our lives on land. Yet there is a whole world under the sea that we’re not privy to! Do you know that 71% of the Earth’s surface is actually the ocean? And do you know that because of the ocean’s depth, it contains about 300 times the habitable volume of the terrestrial habitats on Earth — and many ocean species are still to be discovered?
With scuba diving and snorkeling, you have the opportunity to get up close and personal with the marine life — and see, feel, and experience the vast ocean in person. Scuba diving is one of !
— Complete resource for snorkeling
— Complete resource for scuba diving
9. Go skiing
There’s something about being able to glide on snow while controlling your motor movements that just makes skiing such a
fun sport. It’s by no means easy or safe — one should take lessons before attempting to ski alone — but it’s worth trying out, especially for people who don’t live in winter countries. I personally haven’t skied before and would love to give it a shot next time. Read:
— including recommended ski equipment, ski wear, and accessories
10. Trek the Inca Trail
The Inca Trail is the most famous trek in South America and is rated by many to be in the top 5 treks in the world. It starts from Chillca and follows a route to Machu Picchu, The Lost City of the Incas. Read:
— Comprehensive site dedicated to the Inca Trail
[Wiki] — When to go, what train to take, and what to prepare
[Lonely Planet]
11. Go horseback riding
Horseback riding in Chennai, India (here, I’m at ), thereby completing item #62 of ! ?
Since as early as
BCE, horses have been domesticated and living alongside men. While horses used to be kept as meat animals, and subsequently as working animals to transport materials and people, today, horse riding has transformed into both a hobby and a competitive sport. Horseback riding in itself can be a good sport to relax and unwind from the busy life. Unlike typical sports where you are alone or with other people, in horseback riding, you work together with an animal — the horse — and often times build an emotional bond with it, sometimes one even stronger, more unspeakable, than what you have with fellow peers.
More on horseback riding:
12. Do an extreme sport
I don’t consider myself an
person, but I do like to experiment in life. When I was in Cape Town in April 2013, my host and reader Lizette invited me to go paragliding as she has friends who are licensed tandem paragliding pilots. I took up the offer, and went paragliding not once, but twice!!!
Me paragliding in Cape Town on April 18, 2013. Check out THAT view!!! We were literally floating in the air for a good minute or two. One of the MOST surreal moments in my life!!
The experience was immense and one that I’ll never forget. I do recommend everyone to try at least one extreme sport in our lifetimes! (Of course, make sure *all* safety precautions are in place and you are with professional and licensed instructors.) While the experience may only last a couple of minutes, those few minutes will be some of the most memorable ones in your life.
More on my paragliding experience here:
Get started:
Bungee jumping:
Paragliding:
Skydiving:
13. Climb a mountain
Why risk your life to climb a mountain when the journey is fraught with rocky terrains and with ever-changing weather conditions? For some, mountain climbing is
some find en . Whatever it is, mountain climbing is a feat that takes physical endurance and mental tenacity to accomplish, and is definitely a bucket-list worthy item. I haven’t climbed a mountain yet but I plan to do that sometime in the future!
“” — an article by a climber who has climbed over 300,000 vertical feet, 90,000 on Everest expeditions alone
14. Learn a strategy game
Strategy games like , , ,
(also known as Otello), Mindsweeper (part of Windows bundle) are great ways to train your mind. As a child, my brother and I played chinese chess I also enjoy playing
mind sports like chess and Reversi a lot and would do so with my friends and against the computer). I don’t know if playing such games helped me to be smarter, but I know it certainly taught me to think quickly, to develop plan of actions in anticipation of future issues, and to think before I act!
Get started:
— Free strategy games and board games where you can pit your skills against players around the world
15. Connect with past teachers
Some of us may think of teachers in a bad light. After all, teachers are often remembered for giving us endless assignments and tests and generally making our lives miserable while in school!
Yet, our teachers are also crucial educators who impart importanted knowledge — and life skills — to us during our early ages when we were the most impressionable. They ensured that we would be on the right path as we entered preadolescence, adolescence, and subsequently adulthood. While teachers don’t always get everything right, their intentions come from a good place and they want to see us win.
Think about your past teachers in junior school, high school, and tertiary education. Find ways to get back in touch with them. (Calling your alma mater is always a good start.) Let them know how they have touched your life.
16. Let someone know how much he/she means to you
In our life’s journey, we are constantly touched and supported by people around us, be it friends, family, or acquaintances. Can you identify someone who has made a difference in your life? Write a letter to the person today and let him/her know how much he/she means to you. You can do this as many times as you want, for as many people as you like.
17. Give a heartfelt surprise to someone
When’s the last time you gave someone a surprise? ? It’s always heartwarming to come home to a nicely cooked dinner, to have a bouquet of flowers sent to you at work, or to even receive a simple text message from a loved one. Who is someone you would like to touch today? What surprise can you give to him/her?
18. Perform a kind deed without expecting anything in return
Many of us are often waiting to receive rather than to give. Yet for any relationship to work, there has to be both giving and receiving. If you often find yourself wondering why no one is giving you what you want, how about practicing giving to others first? ? The rest will follow.
Can you think of someone in your life who is in need of help or can benefit from your help? How can you extend your support to him/her? Read:
Day 14: Acts of Kindness in
19. Make a difference in someone’s life
Making a difference is more than doing a kind deed, though it can come as a result of a kind deed. When you make a difference in someone’s life, you change the person’s life for the better… permanently. What is the difference YOU want to make in others’ lives? How can you make that happen?
20. Be a mentor to someone
Teaching is one of the most rewarding things we can do. No matter how old you are, even if you are in your teens, you are always in the position to mentor someone else — perhaps someone who is more junior than you or someone who is older but can benefit from a particular expertise you have. Mentoring others is also a great way for you to develop yourself too.
Many communities are always looking for volunteer mentors, so check with your local community programs for such opportunities. At the same time, is there anyone you know who can benefit from being mentored by you? Extend your hand to help — who knows, it may well be what he/she needs at this moment!
21. Pursue your passion
Honestly, life is too short to be spent doing something you don’t love. This was why I quit my day job in September 2008 (right start at the start of the financial crisis no less) to pursue my passion to help others grow. I have never looked back ever since — for the past 5 years, I’ve been writing at
and helping people to grow. It has been the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done and I plan to do this for the rest of my life.
What is your passion? Is it to be an artist? To sing and perform? To be a life coach? To travel? To help other people to grow (same as my passion)? To be the best that you can be? How can you start pursuing it?
If you don’t know what your passion is, this exercise will help you to discover it:
Some people pursue their passion part time while some make it their careers (or even turn their passion into a business). I personally think that if something is your passion, then you should turn it into your life’s work, because that’s the most synergistic and rewarding path you can pursue. Contrary to common belief that pursuing your passion is at odds with being rich, you can pursue your passion and be financially abundant. I’m an example of this.
These articles document the early stages of my passion journey and will help you in yours:
22. Start your business
Entrepreneurship is fraught with uncertainty but it certainly is fun and rewarding! I started my personal development business in 2008 without knowledge of professional blogging or coaching and started earning more than my last corporate pay within my third year. By being smart, diligent, and persistent in your endeavor, there’s no reason why anyone shouldn’t succeed. Read:
23. Fly in a hot-air balloon
The view of the world as you float away in a hot-air balloon… spectacular. Once, I got to fly in a hot-air balloon while I was in Orange County in ; though that was just a stationary balloon ride that went up for a minute before coming back down. My next goal is to have a real hot-air balloon ride.
24. Sing to an audience
If you love singing, don’t keep your passion to yourself! The next time there is an event, offer to sing as one of the performance items. Singing shouldn’t be limited to when you are showering in the bathroom. ?
25. Do volunteer work
Volunteering is a wonderful way to give back to the world. As I mentioned in
of the Kindness Challenge,
Volunteer work is one of the best ways to expose yourself to a new medium of helping other people. There are tons of volunteer work out there, from assisting the elderly at the old folks’ home, working with delinquent kids, being a mentor to kids at orphanages, helping out at animal shelters, beach cleanups, and so on.
Volunteer work doesn’t have to be some grandiose act. As long as you are offering a part of yourself pro bono to the world (be it in terms of skills, knowledge, time, effort, or money), you are in fact volunteering.
Read more:
Some places to get started:
(for U.S. only)
(for Singapore)
(for U.K.)
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