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Today's paper
Olivia Gordon
Saturday 9 November 2013
Cal Davies, 16: 'Most of my friends who have had ask.fm have received a question saying, "Why are you so ugly?" or, "When are you going to kill yourself?"' Photograph: Laura Pannack for the Guardian
Thirty years ago, children were taught never to accept sweets from strangers, but the equivalent modern message, about staying safe online, doesn't seem to be getting through. For all its positives, the online world is full of potential hazards to . Sexting,
and sexual approaches from strangers are online dangers modern teenagers routinely face. And adults' knowledge of what young people are doing online is often vague and complacent.Nearly half of British children now have online access in their bedrooms,
of their own. , and, with particular risks coming from the lack of privacy on social networking sites. , but, according to research by& security system McAfee in 2012, four-fifths of teenagers say&they know how to hide their online behaviour from parents. Some parents feel their only recourse is to&restrict internet access, but James Diamond, of parenting and technology website , says: "A big reason that children don't tell parents about abuse is that the default reaction of parents is to take the internet away from them." needs to be taught, with specific ground rules and open communication between generations. Parents need to know that the dark side of the online world can't be avoided – if they have teenage children, it is almost certainly already in their lives.Cal Davies, 16From Kenilworth, WarwickshireHours online a day SixOnline devices Smartphone, tablet, two laptops, desktop, Raspberry Pi, e-reader, feature phoneAge when first went online Nine My internet access was monitored and controlled by my parents until I was 14 or so. But teenagers like to have a private life away from their parents, and parents don't necessarily know that they're on websites like
– and if they do, they're not entirely sure what goes on on them.If anyone has a child with a moderate level of online popularity who has joined ask.fm, you can almost guarantee that they will have received an abusive message. Questions are posted publicly on your profile page, and you can reply to them, but the senders are anonymous. Most of my friends who have had Ask have received a&question saying, "Why are you so&ugly?" or, "When are you going to&kill&yourself?"&I've received some over time, too. They are pretty common, but I don't go on it much because I'm not a fan. People get abused for being, appearing, seeming, acting anything that's not "norm". Stuff like being gay. But there are also more intellectual questions, which I&enjoy answering. Like: "Why in your opinion do some people move when they are nervous?"If people get a lot of abuse, for some reason they seem to get even more. People go on their page, see they're getting abuse and join in. I've spoken to people my age who have admitted doing this. They say,&"Oh, I was just being an idiot. I was just not very happy with myself, so I did it to other people." They think if somebody else is more miserable than them, then they're not as miserable.I know people who have been hospitalised by Ask. People already suffering from depression go on Ask and get questions saying, "Why don't you kill yourself, cut yourself?" It's affected them and they have actually ended up cutting themselves. In some cases, the in others, they didn't. With one person, even when they went to hospital, their parents didn't know what had happened until a few weeks later.Sam-E Locock, 16
Sam-E Locock, 16: 'I have nearly 4,000 subscribers on YouTube. But fame isn't my intention. I'm quite shy, and it's made me better
more confident.' Photograph: Laura Pannack for the Guardian
From BathHours online a day At least threeOnline devices Laptop, smartphone,&tabletAge when first went online 10Vlogging's when you make videos about your life. I would call myself a vlogger.
is my channel name – it's based on a German cartoon character I like. I&spend a lot of time on the internet, probably more than I should. I know there are older people on&, but it's well known that the main demographic of viewers on the site is 13- to 16-year-old girls.&When I was 14, I was on the YouTube homepage and I saw a video by
and thought, "Oh, he's funny." That introduced me to lots of different YouTubers and I was like, "OK, I'm going to try this." I find it easier than writing a blog. I post about things that are happening in my life, like things I've learned in science about reproduction, naked mole rats and growing food in space. When I started, my mum wasn't aware of what I was doing. But when I wanted to go to a gathering of YouTube people, I thought it would be easier to explain everything than tell Mum I was going to meet people she would feel were "some random strangers". She was a little concerned, but I&explained I&knew the area well and that if anything were to go wrong, I' and she let me go. Now she watches my videos. She thinks it's quite cool. I try not to release too much information about myself and&where I live, so I'm sure she feels safe about it. If there was anything she felt was inappropriate, I&would take it down.Quite a lot of my friends are YouTubers. We all started off by watching each other and the it's like , but better. This has given me the opportunity to become friends with people all over the world: we share a lot of interests and ambitions that are different from people at school. As we have face-to-face communication online, there isn't such a high element of danger.&I was posting videos for fun, so I&was surprised to get 100 subscribers in six months. I made a video response to this web series called , and people saw it and commented on it.&Now I have nearly 4,000 subscribers. But fame isn't my intention. I'm quite shy and introverted, and since I've been doing this, it's made me better
more confident. When it's just me and the camera, it's like talking to a friend. My mum shows my videos to friends and
and says, "Look what Sam-E's doing" and everyone says, "Who is this person? She's so quiet in real life."Katie*, 16From LondonHours online a day One to three Online devices Smartphone, laptopAge when first went online 12Last year my stepsister – who was 14 at the time – put on
that I'd slept with someone I hadn't. Everyone was asking me about it, and I just told them it wasn't true, and luckily it didn't spread too much. You can post stuff denying the rumours yourself, but not many&people want to. They'd rather&try to ignore it.&It happens every day on Facebook. There are lies about people constantly. You can see people saying stuff about&people's family history, or that&people cut themselves, or tried to kill themselves when they didn't. If it's stuff like sleeping with people, a lot of people feel like they can't talk&to their parents about that. I told my mum, and she told me to just ignore&it.My stepsister once sent a naked picture of herself to her boyfriend, and when they broke up, he printed it off and made a poster saying, "Look at me, I'm a slag" that had her phone number and her BBM pin [her "address" on the
service] on it. The posters were put up round his school. She started getting messages five minutes later. She ended up changing her number and getting Mum to buy her a new phone – she told her it was broken. The boy probably got told off for putting the posters up, but no one ever contacted my stepsister. Our mum still doesn't know.&A whole school can turn on one person. They look down on the girl whose boyfriend sent the picture. The girl gets called a slag, a slut, a whore. It happens to boys, but not often. It's not going to sound very nice, but if a boy's big down there, they get left alone. If it's small, the girls will send the picture around and take the mick.Older men, people I've never spoken to, are always adding me on Facebook,
and . I've had a message saying, "I hope you're a real ginger – I want to taste you." It has become normality. The technology can't be taken away. On Facebook people can message you even if you don't have them as a friend. I am very careful with the small number of social network sites I do use, but there is only so much you can do and most people will not bother to do as much as me. Going round schools and warning kids from a young age will help. That's why I work with a project [run by ] that does this. I've been to 10 schools in east London. Some children as young as 11 had already been sexting. Kids at that age are really naive. If they haven't got anyone telling them about the consequences, they won't know.Pete Constantinides, 17
Pete Constantinides, 17: 'I sell tweets for ?3 – someone pays to have either their personal profile or their business promoted through a tweet I post.'
Photograph: Laura Pannack for the Guardian
From BirminghamHours online a day TwoOnline devices Smartphone, tablet,&laptopAge when first went online 10I find new ways to make money online with things I know a lot about, like Twitter and Instagram. I set up a Twitter account where I continuously followed a high number of other people – about 1,000 a day – to gain followers in return. I now have 46,000 people following me. On
and , I sell tweets for ?3 – someone pays to have either their personal profile or their business promoted through a tweet I post.&I had an Instagram account for a long time and would upload lots o hashtagging topics related to them gained me 11,000 followers. For example, by tagging a photo of Iceland "#landscape", my photo was seen by people who had searched for generic topics like #landscape. When I got bored with Instagram, I sold my account on eBay for ?50 to a young girl who wanted to build her profile.Music artists often make promotional mix tapes that have no copyrights against them for people to download for free. I burn them to a disc, add cover art and the track list, and sell these on eBay for ?3 plus postage worldwide. I made just short of ?500 profit last month.When I hear famous music artists are coming to the UK, I get myself on a computer to buy tickets as soon as they come on sale. When the shows sell out, I sell them on at a higher price via eBay or . I&paid around ?37 each for four tickets this year, which I&sold on for ?70. Seatwave deducts 10%, leaving me with ?26 profit per ticket – ?104 for minimal effort.Twitter is the main thing at the moment. Most of my friends are on it. One of them has decided she wants to convert to Islam, and people we know are taking the mick out of her by tweeting about it for everyone to see. She blocked them and hasn't spoken to them since. But she was very upset. She felt intimidated and targeted.But we were more at risk when we were in year eight, four years ago. At that age you're not as aware of internet safety. You just talk to anyone – a cartoon character, say – you don't know who they are. On
my friend got messages from someone who said he was 12, but he must have been about 40. He was asking her to do certain things. That&made her lose trust in people and become more secretive. I&don't&think she told the police, but I think she told her parents, and went to counselling.&This does happen. There are a lot of weird websites – there's one called Tagged. They say it's a way to make friends aged between 13 and 18. Obviously people aren't using it to make friends – they're using it for things they probably shouldn't be: adults targeting young people sexually. A lot of my friends use a chat app called
to send photos and messages to friends and family. Most people use it correctly, but some people use it to get in touch with people they don't know, and can be forceful about trying to get them to send explicit photos. I've got Kik but I don't post my news on it because I don't want people I&don't know talking to me.Khushal Shah, 17From LondonHours online a day ThreeOnline devices Smartphone, desktop, laptop, tabletAge when first went online 15When I was 14, I came into school one day and my friend said: "Welcome to Facebook." Someone had made a fake account in my name. There were things on my profile that were Photoshopped, like my face on a nude picture of someone else. And abusive comments towards others, about people's mums for example – sexual&remarks. It was very disturbing. Someone was using my account to bully others in my name.I felt so ashamed by what was on there. A lot of people stopped talking to me. I felt like an outcast. Finally my friends made me go to my teachers and parents to talk about it. They didn't know you could do such a&thing or what you could do about it. Eventually Facebook got the account deactivated, and found the IP address and who had done it. I&was told it was someone I&knew, someone in my year group. Their parents were told, but I never found out who it was. That anonymity for the bully, it's like there's a screen protecting them from everything. It&gives them power.I have got Facebook now and I'm on a few other social networking sites, but before I go on, the first thing I check is the privacy settings.As well as doing my A-levels, I'm now a trained cybermentor for the charity 's chatroom. If anyone is in trouble, I private message them and try to help. I hear about bullying on Facebook, Twitter, , BBM, , : there are so many sites and they keep changing. 's evolving. It's happening with younger and younger people, because they are growing up with this technology. I've been in touch with children as&young as 11 being cyberbullied.A lot of people think, "How can I tell my parents?" Parents should make sure their child knows they can come to them for anything. They shouldn't&just tell the child to&turn the screen off or deactivate the account. They should guide them into confidently confronting the attack.I want to become a psychologist when I finish school.&Avril Cosh, 11
Avril Cosh, 11: 'I’m careful online. I don’t friend anybody I don’t know. My parents are always telling me not to talk to strangers online.' Photograph: Martin Hunter for the Guardian
From Near GlasgowHours online a day Less than oneOnline devices iPod TouchAge when first went online FourI use the internet to Google stuff, find out about stuff. Like our school trips, clothes and music. Recently I&was Googling Mary Tudor. I was just interested in the myth of Bloody Mary.I'm not sure how many friends I&have on Facebook: 17? I've got my mum and dad, and friends. I know every one. I take pictures of friends, family, animals, things that I want to remember, and put them on Instagram and Facebook.Do you know what
is? It's like phoning somebody but you can see their face. In the evenings, I talk to my friends on FaceTime about school. And I play games. I&had a blog about
when I was eight, but I haven't updated it for a few years.I'm careful online. I don't friend anybody that I don't know. My parents are always telling me not to talk to strangers online. They have also taught me about cyber safety for the last two years at primary school. We know more about technology at my age. We're used to&it. We're born with it.Tom *, 15 From LondonHours online a day SevenOnline devices Smartphone, iPod Touch, laptopAge when first went online SevenThe sort of stuff we do, boys my age, is go on pornographic websites. Most are massive collections of all types of free content. I could watch from two minutes to an hour a day. Does it affect the way I look at women? Massively.When I first got my laptop, Mum put on a free filtering system that didn't do its job. Now we've got this expensive one and I have to resort to using phones or iPods. But Mum's taken away my iPod Touch. She'll have a good go at trying to stop me, but I'm going to do it. It's natural.&Mum was quite surprised when she found out what I do online. She went through my messages on Facebook and stuff. On Facebook I&was flirting with girls. Sometimes it was explicit. The common slang for it is sexting, but I wouldn't call it that. It's just talking. The fact it's through the internet makes it slightly different from saying it to a girl's face, which would quickly end up being quite awkward. At school the next day, we'd talk like normal. Quite a lot of them have been real relationships. I tend to avoid things that are completely online.I found out about
when a girl offered me a picture of herself. You take a picture, write something and then when the message is opened, the receiver has 10 seconds to see it before it deletes itself. I&think, though they don't say it, it's designed for children my age to send inappropriate pictures. I&haven't sent any, but I have received topless pictures from girls I&know, generally from my class at school. It's unlikely the girls' parents know. They're probably better at hiding it than I am. Half the time I just look at the pictures and don't reply. When you don't reply, they can see that you've opened it, which normally makes them send a couple more messages, saying, "Reply to me, goddammit."What would I advise a parent? Never, ever buy your son or daughter anything electrical. Fifty years ago, people my age were more innocent, doing stuff like bike rides down the canal. Now, you're stuck in your room. The real you life&on the internet is your first life.&Joe Thomas, 14
Joe Thomas, 14: 'I’ve only been gaming since I was 12, but I want to go into it, or software, as a career.' Photograph: Laura Pannack for the Guardian
From Camberley, SurreyHours online a day Two in term- five in holidaysOnline devices Xbox, two laptops, smartphone, tabletAge when first went online TwoI'm not one of those people who stays inside on their computer all day, but if I have nothing to do, then I might play
for an hour or two. On its own it's simply a survival game. You build a house and at night there are monsters so you have to stay inside, mine downwards, and find coal and diamonds and make tools. What I like is the multiplayer aspect: being able to play with loads of other people from everywhere. I often meet with friends from school on it.&I&don't have a computer that's good for the new games that are coming out – they cost nearly ?2,000&– so I like the retro games from 2000, because they're faster on my laptop. I've only been gaming since I was 12, but I want to go into it, or software, as a career. I normally use video tutorials on YouTube. That's how everyone learns how to&do stuffo Names have been changed.With thanks to
and the&o This article was edited on 9 November 2013 to correct sentences in the introduction that had become garbled when the article was uploaded.
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About this article
Do you know where your children go online?
This article appeared
on p20 of the
section of
It was published on
at 09.01 GMT on Saturday 9 November 2013.
It was last modified at 09.00 BST on Thursday 22 May 2014.
More on this story
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